A weekly thread to discuss financial matters - from personal all the way up to global.
Ground Rules
- Remember that we're all just Internet randos. Don't bet your life savings on a hot tip from this thread.
- Keep culture war in the culture war thread. Yes, global events may impact our personal finances, but that does not mean we have to incessantly harp on culture war aspects here. If you are going to discuss it, please stick to the practical impacts of it on an individual level.
- Be kind. Remember that everyone here comes from different circumstances. We all have different resources available and different risk tolerances.
- Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Better is better. Celebrate people when they take a step up and work to move their finances in the right direction. Don't flame out because they haven't followed what you consider the optimal path. Everybody has to start somewhere.

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Notes -
How do you balance FIRE with not wanting to be a miserable tightwad? Most specifically interested in if anyone has thoughts on that in context of marriage + children + income gap (let's say 4 me:1 her). A particular potential (pun intended) Mrs. Lagrangian likes travel and activities more than I do and I have trouble thinking about that, especially in context of the income asymmetry.
You are supposed to pick a standard of living and develop your long-term budget accordingly. The subreddit's standard terms are "leanFIRE" for being a "miserable tightwad" and "fatFIRE" or "chubbyFIRE" for living large.
chubbyFIRE then I suppose, maybe flirting with FAT. HCOL. I think 3M would maintain my current life, 5M with kids, 7M with kids + buffer to pay for a divorce.
This still doesn't answer how to navigate the "how chubby" question with a partner. It's not like we haven't talked about it, it's just hard to really get more than vibes, hypotheticals, rough spreadsheet budgets.
Don't just think, run the numbers. Trying to plan on vibes would make me itchy. Forecasting out your current budget and adding health insurance costs and your other known early retirement expenses would give you good numbers to work with. Talking about exactly how many years of work are needed to pay for exactly what kind of lifestyle is really helpful.
Your partner may agree that 10 more years of work to pay for a country club membership every year isn't a good trade off. You may agree that 5 more years of work for a yearly trip to do a walking tour in Ireland is a good trade off.
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In the US, the Bureau of Labor Statistics conducts the Consumer Expenditure Survey, which can be used as the framework for a very detailed budget. For example, the table "Cross-tabulated—Size of consumer unit by income before taxes—Two people—2023–2024" provides the following numbers, broken down into dozens of categories and subcategories.
Additionally, the IRS and the DOJ collaborate on estimating the cost of housing and utilities across the country on a county-by-county basis.
Interesting, but not super useful for me specifically. HCOL + want excellent schools + FAANG puts me well outside those buckets.
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