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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2964 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for June 21, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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One of my great insights that I had as an adult is that socializing by, e.g. spending lots of periodic time with like-minded people who enjoy your company and like you for who you are and vice versa, doing activities that everyone enjoys and/or is passionate about doesn't actually lead to building meaningful connections or relationships.

I suppose this prompts the question: what does?

My mantra is always "repeated unstructured interaction". Activities are good at building shallow relationships, but it's when you're just hanging out and talking about stuff (alcohol helps) that you build the friendship.

The best part of my week is D&D with my friends. It's not the actual playing, though. It's the first hour, where we're eating Chinese takeout and shooting the shit.

Blueprint for building a friendship:

  • Sit in your dining room with the prospective friend.

  • Pull out a long printed list of conversation topics.

  • Pick a topic. After discussing it in whatever detail seems necessary, cross it off the list and take a shot (1 2) of distilled liquor.

  • Continue until one of you vomits or passes out.

  • Repeat as necessary (on different days) until you judge that friendship either has been achieved or will not be achieved.

(This is a joke.)

(This is a joke.)

I wish it wasn't.

The one thing I've found that works is combination of being family + regular interaction. If you ever figure out how it could be done to non-family, I hope you'll tell me!

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