The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Notes -
My wife had our baby boy on Monday. Kid came too fast for the epidural, so she had him au naturel. Which was how she wanted to have him, but labor is hard and she changed her mind. Baby decided to keep her honest, and speedran the birth canal instead. By the time the anesthesiologist was in the room, baby was a knuckle away from crowning. So my wife got to learn she's way tougher than she thought she was. I'm really proud of her.
Can I just say, I fucking hate doctors scaring the fuck out of us over every little thing? First was a fetal scan where the MFM made it sound like my baby had a bad heart and would need emergency surgery and/or die. Then a fetal cardio walked it way back and made it clear that what was being seen had a more than likely chance of resolving itself after birth. Which it did. Then that same MFM kept riding my wife's ass to induce or cut the baby out ASAP because of some bullshit about how every day of a geriatric pregnancy increases the chance of still birth. Even 5 days before the kid was born, that MFM was telling my wife there was a 1/1000 chance of stillbirth from where we were.
Mind you, all the stats were perfectly normal. Minus the ambiguous heart scan that resolved itself.
Even now after the first appointment, the family doctor was riding our ass that the baby wasn't peeing enough. He'd only last peed at 4 am and it was 11 am at the time. Then he peed in the office, and she was still all "Well, you need to call me and let me know he's peed again before I leave the office or I'll be very worried." This was after she remarked that he looked perfectly healthy, vitals all perfect, good color, nothing concerning about his appearance.
Just... why are doctors like this? My wife's neurotic enough without doctors making her believe every normal variance is a sign that her baby is going to die.
Shit even got to me in that span between crowning and crying. All my posturing that everything was going to be ok, that the MFM was just an asshole, began to crumble and I wondered if my optimism was leading my family into life changing tragedy. It may have only lasted 5 seconds, it may have been a minute or two. I honestly can't say. But hearing him cry for the first time was the most relieved I can ever recall feeling. The baby cried, I cried, and I turned to my wife and she was crying.
Later that night in recovery, I rocked him in my arms and told him about his big sister, the cats and dog that are excited to see him, how funny it is to watch chickens run, and how much better the world now is with him in it.
Congratulations!
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