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PaperclipPerfector  19d ago (text post)   22809 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of July 27, 2026

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Saving Private Lump, Or Why Military Doesn’t Work Anymore

On the wild fields of xitter, the newest masterpiece of the oldest genre in history "why the youff suck so much these days?" dropped.

This time not from usual moral/religious POV, but from tough military guy one.

Why Military School Doesn’t Work Anymore

What's wrunff with the yuff? Are they drunkards, druggies, young deliquents, incorrigible violent thugs?

Nope, it is worse. They are lumps.

"And that brings us to the final group composing the plurality of students at Marathon Academy: “lumps.”

Lump is not a diagnostic category, but rather my own term for something I often saw but that resisted definition, a sort of combination of democratic man, last man, and mass man, the larval stage of the bugman that never quite sprouts wings. A lump is neither especially good nor bad, but rather a defined mass of inert matter. It lacks energy, focus, and will. Lumps, like plants, passively sustain themselves from their environment, but while flowers grow towards the sun, lumps gravitate towards vapes, porn, and electronic stimulation.

...

In particular, my school, like most military schools, absorbed a large number of young men simply impervious to motivation and lacking all drive. This is an increasingly common problem across the world of education and for society as a whole, and dealing with it requires rethinking a number of assumptions about the ends of modern life.

And what is the solution of lump problem? Beating.

In another age, in the same place, the student in question would have been punished for his lackluster academics with a trip to what was then known as the “bull ring,” where he would have received motivation of a physical nature. Failing that, once he’d caused enough of a headache for the student leadership, he would be run around the campus and introduced to a holly hedge at full speed, a practice known as “bushing.” By my time, bushing had long since been proscribed by the ever-growing Blue Book of rules and regulations, along with glass bottles, PT in excess of ten push-ups, and harsh language.

Notice that author does not say that the student is violent, undisciplined or disobeying orders, the offence deserving punishment is "lackluster academics". Private Lump cannot memorize his multiplication tables. Solution is beat him until he manages. Or he is beaten to death.

See parts of the world that believe in beating, for example Eastern Europe. Under tsars, communists and democracy, brutality was and is the rule at home, in schools, army and prisons, and the result is hundreds of millions of well adjusted and highly accomplished people who make their countries the shining light of the world.

Still, according to author's long experience, the lump problem is new one, the lumps were unheard of just few decades ago.

So where they came from?

It is possible that neoliberalism did it.

The lump is the end-stage refined product of neoliberalism, the perfect managerial object. He is the sort of lifelong boy a committee of women might design for maximum lack of systemic threat.

It is also possible that lumps were always there, but not in military academies.

Lumps, as people with no "energy, focus, and will" went with their life as laborers working enought to provide basic food and shelter, or, if from rich and connected families, were given some no effort sinecure where they could doze in the office all day.

In old times, military profession was highly prestigious and military schools had choice of the best students. Now, aspiring elite human capital goes elsewhere, and military is increasingly seen as dumping ground for losers and rejects.

What is the solution? No more peacekeeping missions, anti terrorist actions and special military operations, but retvrn to great wars ending in glorious victories, accomplishments so shining that every young man with motivation and drive would want to wear uniform and be part of winning team.

See parts of the world that believe in beating, for example Eastern Europe. Under tsars, communists and democracy, brutality was and is the rule at home, in schools, army and prisons, and the result is hundreds of millions of well adjusted and highly accomplished people who make their countries the shining light of the world.

Just FYI, Elon Musk is going to be sending you a bill in the next few days for the damage caused to his Starlink satellites by the unauthorized launching of my sides into orbit.

but retvrn to great wars ending in glorious victories, accomplishments so shining that every young man with motivation and drive would want to wear uniform and be part of winning team.

Here are some videos I have seen from the current war in Ukraine:

  • A Ukranian squad marches for several hours to a contested location. They get pinned for an hour inside a barn by what turns out to be friendly fire, spending most of the time on their stomachs behind hay bales. They fire their weapons towards other buildings occasionally, accomplishing nothing or worse. Most of the footage is just dust floating around, accompanied by the sound of bullets impacting wood.
  • During a trench raid, the pointman mis-communicates with his squad about the location of a machine gun ("To the left?" "Right!") and gets killed instantly as a result. Nobody attempts to retrieve his body because it's stuck in the gun's line of sight.
  • A BMP notices movement in a nearby treeline, and rakes the entire area with its autocannon. For good measure, it also blows up a nearby shed with a high explosive shell. Then it drives away.
  • A conscript moving down his trench with his weapon drawn is shot point blank in the head by a soldier hiding in a small depression in the wall.
  • A small group of Russians attempt to carry a soldier in a stretcher to a safer location. They keep close together, which allows a drone to drop a grenade on the entire group. A few of them survive, with horrific injuries. They feebly attempt to move but can't do anything except lie on the ground and spasmodically kick their legs or paw at their body armor. The video ends.
  • A soldier stuck in a shell hole during an artillery bombardment frantically crosses himself. (I don't remember if he survived, but I do remember that people jeered at him on Twitter because he was probably a Russian and therefore they were allowed to do so).

The assistant general of the army resides on the left. The supreme general of the army resides on the right. This was known thousands of years ago, and it is more known than ever today. In the period of time between The Iliad and GoPro drone footage, those who would wage war have constantly attempted to deceive their slaves, soldiers, and citizens about what fighting actually entails, or to pressure them into accepting it, or in rarer and typically more successful cases, to compensate them for it. (During the high points of the Roman Empire, for example, a soldier really did eat well, and could expect a good deal of material wealth and career advancement upon retirement). Anyone who tells you that it is sweet and noble to die for your country is lying to you or very stupid.

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