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Notes -
Today is one of those days where I wonder if I should be in some sort of counseling. And then I wonder what the point would be since the only truly actionable advice would be "find a new line of work."
I have been a public defender long enough that I now mostly have murder cases and sex cases (plus supervisory duties). My rural area is thankfully low on murders, but not so low on sex cases. It is generally possible to have semi-normal conversations with murder clients. It is almost impossible to do so with a 40yo man accused of having sex with a 13yo girl. Or a 30yo man accused of molesting his 8yo step-daughter. Or a 70yo man accused of molesting every child in the neighborhood. Or the pick-an-age man who has collected TB of CSAM, some of which is so appalling that just reading the description (much less having to actually see the videos) is something straight from the torment nexus.
Even for someone jaded by years of this work, it is wearing to hear the delusional and horrifying things they say. Some of them don't see anything wrong with what they've done, and some are even proud of it. And of course, if they're confessing to past actions they haven't been charged with, that's confidential information that goes to the grave with me. So they finally get to unburden themselves (or brag) and I can do nothing with it except store it away in my elephant's memory (I am not Funes the Memorious, but I remember far too much).
So there are days like today where I had custody visits with a number of my clients and it would be great if I could somehow memory wipe my time at work.
Go to therapy. Touchy feely bullshit aside, just the opportunity to talk to someone who is good at listening and will be discreet about things is often worth the money. This also describes friends, but I'm not sure even I have a ton of friends who would listen to me vent about things along those lines for as long as it takes for catharsis.
Alternatively, I second the questions about whether you can switch to a less... visceral branch of law.
I just fucking know that if I had opted for law, I'd have turned to drink. Sorry you're going through this.
As mentioned in another reply, I only vent about these things to PD friends. I don't tell friends and family about work, and even my wife is occasionally surprised at things I do at work (like the amount of social work and mitigation gathering and stuff that doesn't seem like legal work at all) because I really, really don't talk about it.
Not without relocating.
I don't even have that, as even mild drinking (like a glass of wine with dinner and then an after-dinner cocktail with friends) started to give me hangovers that wrecked the next day, so I'm a boring sober guy who doesn't even have stories of past alcoholic excess to go with it.
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