This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Could someone steelmom killing your own kids for me?
I'm pretty sure my kids are like 83%ile for being ornery aggravating shitheads but I still can't possibly imagine killing them and would kill myself first if I ever thought stuff like that.
Do kids have room to be 100x more infuriating and aggravating? And some people really are cursed with kids like that? Would that totally warp my values? Are there women actually putting up with kids that shitty? Is there any evidence Clancy's kids were really shitty?
I haven't looked too deeply into Clancy's psychology, but my default expectation is "hated the husband, indifferent to the kids except as symbols of him and ways to get at him". That's the usual psychology of men who kill their families, and women sometimes do it too.
More options
Context Copy link
To answer your question directly about aggravation, I really don't think she hated or was annoyed by them.
To steelman, I would say take a belief of yours that you are most certain about. Not sure what that is for you personally. Maybe it's God, maybe it's that the sun will come up tomorrow. Whatever it is, I imagine it to be a belief that has no real shadow of a doubt.
Take the strength of that belief, but change the belief to be one that convinces you that your children will suffer greatly without you unless you "spare" them from the suffering. Then, pile on sleep deprivation, a ruminating personality type in which you can't not think about it, and a hormone imbalance that intensifies your fears and anxiety. I can see how one can be driven to "do the right thing" in that situation.
More options
Context Copy link
Since they are arguing insanity, I would assume the problem was with the mother not the kids. Even having "easy" kids is taxing, and could aggravate existing mental health issues. Insanity also helps explain why you don't understand her, as the way you see reality during a psychosis is entirely different from what everybody else perceives. I am not sure it is possible to completely understand such a mindset without experiencing it yourself.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link