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PaperclipPerfector  11hr ago (text post)   384 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 4, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Item 1 of 4

Locally-prominent author Alexander Wales has provided his opinion on somebody else's "list of all the best obscure and unappreciated works that you can reach from a computer".

The latter person also has published a "webfic bingo card". My score is 39/182. (Note that the ominous red "dropped" label is very ambiguous between "stopped reading after failing to enjoy early chapters" and "stopped reading after enjoying early chapters but failing to enjoy later chapters". Here is a modified image that differentiates between those two statuses.)

Item 2 of 4

  • A 13-year-old with no prior record pleads delinquent to possessing a gun as a minor. (As part of the plea deal, the prosecutor withdraws additional charges of possessing a gun without a license and receiving stolen property.) His probation officer testifies that the delinquent has been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD, and that a court-ordered mental-health evaluator recommended MST (multisystemic therapy), which requires the participation of the entire family and therefore cannot be completed if he is placed in juvenile detention.

  • The trial judge sentences him to juvenile detention (duration to be determined), with the possibility of MST after the detention is completed.

    So, there's no question he needs mental health treatment. Yet, at the same time, in regard to mental health in regard to MST, I understand it's not available in the community, but it doesn't have to happen here today. That's something that can happen later on, and I'm going to put that in my order as well; MST treatment will occur later down the line. But at this time, here today, he will be detained. He will be placed in appropriate placement as well.

    And in regard to how his parents feel and different things, I mean, even myself, I mean, it's difficult to send children to placement as well. I understand that, you know, but that's my job in regard to the safety of others as well. There is nothing in the world that convinces me a child with a firearm is safe in the community. Nothing. And I've been doing this for over 20 years, and I haven't seen it. I've seen just the opposite. I've seen other people get killed by mistake or on purpose as well, it's not going to happen. It's whatever I can do to make sure that does not happen. So, he will be placed at this particular time as well. He will continue with all recommendations in regard to his mental health as well. He will complete 40 hours of community service and pay court costs, as well as the Crime Lab fee, continue with education while in placement as well, and his mental health.

    (emphasis added by appeals panel)

  • The appeals panel reverses.

    [According to the statute,] the Juvenile court must strive to keep the family unit intact and separate a delinquent child from his parents only when necessary; and, in making this decision, the juvenile court must use the least restrictive intervention available consistent with protection of the community and in light of the individualized needs of the child.

    …

    In our view, the court abused its discretion in failing to give due consideration to the least restrictive intervention consistent with both CL's individualized needs and the protection of the public considering the circumstances of this case. Although this Court appreciates the severity of the offense at issue and does not minimize the need to protect the public from firearms, the Juvenile Act requires that these factors be weighed alongside the delinquent child's individualized needs. Accordingly, based on CL's age, the nature of CL's delinquency, CL's recommended treatment, CL's supportive family and community, and the other circumstances of this case (including CL's school situation and lack of delinquency history), we find that the juvenile court abused its discretion in failing to implement the least restrictive intervention available consistent with protection of the community and in light of CL's individualized needs. Accordingly, we reverse the order of the court placing CL out-of-home and remand this case for a new dispositional hearing—to be held as soon as possible and no later than 5 days after remand of the record in this case—wherein the court places CL in an in-home placement and requires him to participate in MST.

    (emphasis in original)

(New Jersey's appeals judges continue to slack, having released only eight nonprecedential opinions in the past week. And I didn't catch anything of interest from Pennsylvania, Ohio, or the feds, other than the single decision given above. For an alternative weekly source of interesting and funny court opinions, see Short Circuit from the Institute for Justice (also crossposted at the Volokh Conspiracy).)

Item 3 of 4

Tired: A/S/L (age/sex/location)

Wired: Age, gender, height, BMI, race, location

Item 4 of 4

Another gutbustingly-hilarious imitation of erotic writing

“Slow down.” Emily grabbed his arm, pulling him back down to his seat. “Let's talk about this like adults.” She was still frowning, but her words were less terror-inducing than her facial expression. “You've been helping me for half the semester, and you haven't propositioned me. But obviously you're attracted to me. So, what's the deal? Were you just trying to get into my pants all along?”

AGHBRL? Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

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