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PaperclipPerfector  10hr ago (text post)   334 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 4, 2026

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What is going on with sports team owners?

In the space of a few weeks:

-- The owner of the Los Angeles Lakers has been forced to sell (to a Kushner brother) the team because of an SEC investigation into financial irregularities at insurance companies he controlled. (((I'll leave the questions about the Trump admin investigating a businessman who then is forced to sell a prized asset to a Trump-family-affiliated entity to Pablo Torre to unwind)))

-- The owner of the San Francisco 49ers was arrested in an East Palestine, OH trailer park in a human trafficking sting, apparently trying to hire a $140 prostitute. He plead guilty to some minor misdemeanor charges and spent a night in jail.

-- The Los Angeles Clippers have effectively been neutered for the next 5-8 years by the NBA's decision in their salary-cap circumvention scheme, in which Kawhi Leonard was paid extra money outside his contract under the table through no-show endorsement deals from affiliated companies.

-- Investigations into the Los Angeles Dodgers are coming to the forefront, involving financial irregularities in their ownership group.

It could all be a coincidence, but it feels weird astrologically.

The clippers thing is interesting. The story was broken back in September 2025 by a guy named Pablo Torre.

The league and sports media closed ranks and alternated between mocking and ignoring Torre, until it was too obvious to keep up the charade.

I feel like there's a lesson in there.

It's probably the best example of a glow up I've seen from pure journalism in years.

The owner of the San Francisco 49ers was arrested in an East Palestine, OH trailer park in a human trafficking sting, apparently trying to hire a $140 prostitute. He plead guilty to some minor misdemeanor charges and spent a night in jail.

Shouldn't he be able to easily afford a $1400 D1 escort from UC Berkeley or OSU instead of trailer trash?

This was the exact question people asked when Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots (which is probably one of the most valuable NFL franchises, if not the top one) was arrested for soliciting at a massage parlor. I still haven't gotten a good answer to this, other than that the shame around being a John likely do crazy things to people's psychology, causing, in this case, him to become stupid. Shame around sex work seems to do this in general, I think, based on what I've heard/seen about how porn actresses, Onlyfans models, prostitutes handle their work.

Explanations that have been mooted in my home:

-- It's a fetish. He wants the dirtiest, cheapest trailer park whore he can find. He can't really let himself be free with a woman of his social class. He can be totally free with trailer trash. It turns him on. I've known men who liked their women a little on the trashy side, though this is another level.

-- He's cheap, and that's how you end up a billionaire.

-- He made the utterly stupid calculation (see: Coldplay couple) that no one would catch him in an East Palestine trailer park. The problem being that when you are caught in an East Palestine trailer park, there is no possible innocent explanation, even after the charges are reduced.

It's the power difference which is appealing, the money is unimportant. That D1 has a low chance of making it big in sports, or may otherwise use a college degree to earn a decent living in a non-athletic career even if she temporarily sells her body. The D1 is potentially upwardly mobile.

The woman in the trailer park is probably destitute, with little future prospects other than marrying well if she can avoid the drugs. The exploitation is what makes it erotic for him. There is likely no sexual degradation she will refuse, unlike the fit D1 who can be choosy with her wealthier clients.

Not to say that the D1 wouldn't do some degrading stuff for the right price. But it wouldn't be real degradation done in desperation, it would be play-acted at best.

Now that you said it that sounds like the best possible explanation. I was wondering about that too and I haven't even considered this aspect. For a guy who is freshly divorced (or filed for divorce) - with all the consequences to his ego, sex life and general mental wellbeing - I wouldn't find going to a sex worked something that paints him in a particularly bad light. But the manner of it certainly raises some questions.

Or a quick flight to the legal brothels of Melbourne.

US has several places with legal brothels, and even more places where they are technically not legal but everybody knows. And countries surrounding the US on both sides have the similar kind of deals - catering in part for US tourists - too.

A) There's Nevada between Cali and Ohio and B) brothels are for proles.

Nevada (not Las Vegas, though) is much closer to LA.

It's my impression (from a glance at webpages a few years ago) that the supply of labor willing to work in the legal brothels of Nevada (in isolated towns) is very low, leading to quality beneath the dignity of a hundred-millionaire—while, in contrast, the supply of labor willing to work in the legal brothels of Melbourne (a major city) is through the roof, with jade-like beauties flying in from four thousand miles away.

@MollieTheMare @orthoxerox

leading to quality beneath the dignity of a hundred-millionaire

As opposed to the spectacular quality of Ohio trailer park, I presume?

When I looked at the websites of two or three of Nevada's legal brothels a while ago, all the women on display were fat (IIRC). In contrast, a stereotypical trailer-park meth addict is stylishly skinny.

I am slightly disturbed by how carefully you've thought this through, but I applaud your diligence.

I'm giving a 70% chance that the absurdity of picking a technically correct but ludicrously non-salient option was intentional.

Odom in Nevada. Dave, 54, recently divorced, sudden passion for Thai temples. Or an unusual fascination with the canals of Amsterdam. All seem like more obvious choices.

No such thing as a quick flight to Melbourne. That's a whole day of travel each way.

In order to create a list item, you need to use just one hyphen, not two.

I didn't want it to format as a list, which I find annoying, I wanted it come out the way it did.

Praise be to SPACE KING! Episode 5 is out.

I've been meaning to ask for a while - does anyone know anything about the guys behind it? The show's great, but I can't shake the felling that it's all set up for a rug-pull in the finale.

Greta Lee is to Celine Song as Daisy Edgar-Jones is to Sally Rooney.

OotL: Song and Rooney both wrote stories (Past Lives and Normal People, respectively) heavily drawn from their own experiences in which the protagonists are thinly-disguised versions of their respective authors. These protagonists were portrayed by actresses (Lee and Edgar-Jones, respectively) who each bear a passing resemblance to the respective authors, but who are vastly more physically attractive.

Item 1 of 4

Locally-prominent author Alexander Wales has provided his opinion on somebody else's "list of all the best obscure and unappreciated works that you can reach from a computer".

The latter person also has published a "webfic bingo card". My score is 39/182. (Note that the ominous red "dropped" label is very ambiguous between "stopped reading after failing to enjoy early chapters" and "stopped reading after enjoying early chapters but failing to enjoy later chapters". Here is a modified image that differentiates between those two statuses.)

Item 2 of 4

  • A 13-year-old with no prior record pleads delinquent to possessing a gun as a minor. (As part of the plea deal, the prosecutor withdraws additional charges of possessing a gun without a license and receiving stolen property.) His probation officer testifies that the delinquent has been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD, and that a court-ordered mental-health evaluator recommended MST (multisystemic therapy), which requires the participation of the entire family and therefore cannot be completed if he is placed in juvenile detention.

  • The trial judge sentences him to juvenile detention (duration to be determined), with the possibility of MST after the detention is completed.

    So, there's no question he needs mental health treatment. Yet, at the same time, in regard to mental health in regard to MST, I understand it's not available in the community, but it doesn't have to happen here today. That's something that can happen later on, and I'm going to put that in my order as well; MST treatment will occur later down the line. But at this time, here today, he will be detained. He will be placed in appropriate placement as well.

    And in regard to how his parents feel and different things, I mean, even myself, I mean, it's difficult to send children to placement as well. I understand that, you know, but that's my job in regard to the safety of others as well. There is nothing in the world that convinces me a child with a firearm is safe in the community. Nothing. And I've been doing this for over 20 years, and I haven't seen it. I've seen just the opposite. I've seen other people get killed by mistake or on purpose as well, it's not going to happen. It's whatever I can do to make sure that does not happen. So, he will be placed at this particular time as well. He will continue with all recommendations in regard to his mental health as well. He will complete 40 hours of community service and pay court costs, as well as the Crime Lab fee, continue with education while in placement as well, and his mental health.

    (emphasis added by appeals panel)

  • The appeals panel reverses.

    [According to the statute,] the Juvenile court must strive to keep the family unit intact and separate a delinquent child from his parents only when necessary; and, in making this decision, the juvenile court must use the least restrictive intervention available consistent with protection of the community and in light of the individualized needs of the child.

    …

    In our view, the court abused its discretion in failing to give due consideration to the least restrictive intervention consistent with both CL's individualized needs and the protection of the public considering the circumstances of this case. Although this Court appreciates the severity of the offense at issue and does not minimize the need to protect the public from firearms, the Juvenile Act requires that these factors be weighed alongside the delinquent child's individualized needs. Accordingly, based on CL's age, the nature of CL's delinquency, CL's recommended treatment, CL's supportive family and community, and the other circumstances of this case (including CL's school situation and lack of delinquency history), we find that the juvenile court abused its discretion in failing to implement the least restrictive intervention available consistent with protection of the community and in light of CL's individualized needs. Accordingly, we reverse the order of the court placing CL out-of-home and remand this case for a new dispositional hearing—to be held as soon as possible and no later than 5 days after remand of the record in this case—wherein the court places CL in an in-home placement and requires him to participate in MST.

    (emphasis in original)

(New Jersey's appeals judges continue to slack, having released only eight nonprecedential opinions in the past week. And I didn't catch anything of interest from Pennsylvania, Ohio, or the feds, other than the single decision given above. For an alternative weekly source of interesting and funny court opinions, see Short Circuit from the Institute for Justice (also crossposted at the Volokh Conspiracy).)

Item 3 of 4

Tired: A/S/L (age/sex/location)

Wired: Age, gender, height, BMI, race, location

Item 4 of 4

Another gutbustingly-hilarious imitation of erotic writing

“Slow down.” Emily grabbed his arm, pulling him back down to his seat. “Let's talk about this like adults.” She was still frowning, but her words were less terror-inducing than her facial expression. “You've been helping me for half the semester, and you haven't propositioned me. But obviously you're attracted to me. So, what's the deal? Were you just trying to get into my pants all along?”

50/182. Closest to a bingo was the first column, horizontally was 2017

Is that really a Bingo card, though? Seems like it's just a grid.

I believe that, if you manage to complete an entire row, column, or prolific author, then you get a badge in the lower right corner.

1. My bingo is perfectly croppable.

3. You don't need more than seven bits in centimeters if you assume there's an implicit eighth bit that is always 1, like in the IEEE-754 floating point representation.

/images/17885235662845476.webp

AGHBRL? Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

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