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Friday Fun Thread for September 4, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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What is going on with sports team owners?

In the space of a few weeks:

-- The owner of the Los Angeles Lakers has been forced to sell (to a Kushner brother) the team because of an SEC investigation into financial irregularities at insurance companies he controlled. (((I'll leave the questions about the Trump admin investigating a businessman who then is forced to sell a prized asset to a Trump-family-affiliated entity to Pablo Torre to unwind)))

-- The owner of the San Francisco 49ers was arrested in an East Palestine, OH trailer park in a human trafficking sting, apparently trying to hire a $140 prostitute. He plead guilty to some minor misdemeanor charges and spent a night in jail.

-- The Los Angeles Clippers have effectively been neutered for the next 5-8 years by the NBA's decision in their salary-cap circumvention scheme, in which Kawhi Leonard was paid extra money outside his contract under the table through no-show endorsement deals from affiliated companies.

-- Investigations into the Los Angeles Dodgers are coming to the forefront, involving financial irregularities in their ownership group.

It could all be a coincidence, but it feels weird astrologically.

The clippers thing is interesting. The story was broken back in September 2025 by a guy named Pablo Torre.

The league and sports media closed ranks and alternated between mocking and ignoring Torre, until it was too obvious to keep up the charade.

I feel like there's a lesson in there.

It's probably the best example of a glow up I've seen from pure journalism in years.

The owner of the San Francisco 49ers was arrested in an East Palestine, OH trailer park in a human trafficking sting, apparently trying to hire a $140 prostitute. He plead guilty to some minor misdemeanor charges and spent a night in jail.

Shouldn't he be able to easily afford a $1400 D1 escort from UC Berkeley or OSU instead of trailer trash?

Explanations that have been mooted in my home:

-- It's a fetish. He wants the dirtiest, cheapest trailer park whore he can find. He can't really let himself be free with a woman of his social class. He can be totally free with trailer trash. It turns him on. I've known men who liked their women a little on the trashy side, though this is another level.

-- He's cheap, and that's how you end up a billionaire.

-- He made the utterly stupid calculation (see: Coldplay couple) that no one would catch him in an East Palestine trailer park. The problem being that when you are caught in an East Palestine trailer park, there is no possible innocent explanation, even after the charges are reduced.

It's the power difference which is appealing, the money is unimportant. That D1 has a low chance of making it big in sports, or may otherwise use a college degree to earn a decent living in a non-athletic career even if she temporarily sells her body. The D1 is potentially upwardly mobile.

The woman in the trailer park is probably destitute, with little future prospects other than marrying well if she can avoid the drugs. The exploitation is what makes it erotic for him. There is likely no sexual degradation she will refuse, unlike the fit D1 who can be choosy with her wealthier clients.

Not to say that the D1 wouldn't do some degrading stuff for the right price. But it wouldn't be real degradation done in desperation, it would be play-acted at best.

Or a quick flight to the legal brothels of Melbourne.

A) There's Nevada between Cali and Ohio and B) brothels are for proles.

Nevada (not Las Vegas, though) is much closer to LA.

It's my impression (from a glance at webpages a few years ago) that the supply of labor willing to work in the legal brothels of Nevada (in isolated towns) is very low, leading to quality beneath the dignity of a hundred-millionaire—while, in contrast, the supply of labor willing to work in the legal brothels of Melbourne (a major city) is through the roof, with jade-like beauties flying in from four thousand miles away.

@MollieTheMare @orthoxerox

I am slightly disturbed by how carefully you've thought this through, but I applaud your diligence.

I'm giving a 70% chance that the absurdity of picking a technically correct but ludicrously non-salient option was intentional.

Odom in Nevada. Dave, 54, recently divorced, sudden passion for Thai temples. Or an unusual fascination with the canals of Amsterdam. All seem like more obvious choices.

No such thing as a quick flight to Melbourne. That's a whole day of travel each way.

In order to create a list item, you need to use just one hyphen, not two.

I didn't want it to format as a list, which I find annoying, I wanted it come out the way it did.