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Friday Fun Thread for September 4, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Usage notes:

Bit of a legal usage conundrum popped up in my family:

20 years ago, a farmer who owned 700 acres of land sold 300 acres to a farming LLC to help pay for his daughter's college tuition. The 300 acres abuts a river and is only accessible by a private road the farmer still owned. So the LLC and the farmer got a Simple Country Lawyer to draft an agreement which created an easement for the road that the LLC had to pay to lease, a "biannual sum of $500" for the next 30 years, which is roughly how long the farmer thought he would still be farming.

Unfortunately for the farmer, he recently has had some health problems that means he now finds it too difficult to do farm work. So he decided to sell the remaining land. The LLC wasn't interested because of liquidity problems so instead my uncle bought it after last year's harvest. The farmer turned over the contract to my uncle and made sure he knew about the payments, though apparently all they said was they were due next January. My uncle called the LLC, said he was the new owner and gave them his address for where to send the check. Sure enough, he got his first payment in late December, but my uncle, who thought "biannual" means twice a year not every other year, was a bit confused when he didn't get another check in June/July and called them up to complain.

The LLC told him the payments were every other year and there was no check in the mail. Uncle threatened to sue, LLC told him to kick rocks. My uncle grabbed the contract to bring to our family's annual July 4th celebration at the family compound in Arkansas, knowing that my cousin, who is a lawyer, would be there. My cousin, who is a bit pompous about having a law degree, immediately agreed with my uncle and said he would file a suit on his behalf, while working on contingency for 20% of the recovered amount as a bit of a family discount. I overheard the conversation and told them they would likely fail in court.

I'm a bit of a usage nerd. I have a well-used copy of Bryan Garner's wonderful A Dictionary of Modern American Usage and am very familiar with the entry on "bi-" words. "Biannual" is hopelessly ambiguous in American usage (and abusage) to the point that it is a skunked term. While "semiannual" and "twice a year" are unambiguous reflections of my uncle's understanding of the situation, and "biennial" and "occurring once every two years" are reflective of the LLC's understanding, "biannual"'s precise meaning entirely depends on the speaker. It really does mean "twice a year" but it doesn't matter because so many people are confused. The Simple Country Lawyer (and I emphasize "Simple") has done everyone a disservice with his choice of words.

I explained all this and added that since this contract had been in force for 20 years, and had been paid in the way the Lawyer, LLC, and farmer all agreed concerning the meaning of "biannual" that no judge was going to side with my uncle's novel interpretation of the word. The tradition was in place already, and my uncle was going to be out $9500. I might be wrong, and they still think it's worth trying, but I did end up dampening their hopes.


Also I have seen you guys abuse a couple things this week. Not gonna quote it because I don't feel like being an ass today but

bury the lead

It's bury the "lede". Something to do with printing presses but that's the correct term

Also, you don't capitalize after a semicolon, "I have a big presentation tomorrow; if I don't do well I will be fired."

I the usage of Bi- and Semi- in English has been a thorn in my side for more than a decade at this point. Sucks.

There's a reason I use "fortnightly" to describe anything that's a two-week period.