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Culture War Roundup for the week of September 28, 2026

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To advance what Botond said, I think you need some perspective if your answer is "6'3'' male virgin is easily able to acquire a one-night-stand." This doesn't really in any way offer a solution to a large portion of men that are practically seen as subhuman in a dating context and are also not interested in one-night stands. It's cool that a guy who meets an elite standard can get the bare minimum, but what about everyone else?

I agree with you on a lot of what you're saying and I think hating women as people is unfair and a dead end, but the fact remains that they pretty much hold all the cards in a dating context and seem to be taking every possible path to make themselves unhappy when given the choice, and the biggest victim in this story seems to be unwanted men that no one sympathizes with. Constantly they are told that they must improve themselves, they must become highly-fit breadwinners with perfect attitudes (let's talk about height as little as possible), but then you have to ask: what are they doing this for? My problem with the war on the sexes is that men are being held to an elite standard despite so many of them being disqualified for standards they have no control over, while at the same time we demand women be naturally accepted with no standards even as they raise ever-increasing standards upon others.

I do think there is a basic male urge to have it all. The strange puss, the loving baby maker, the children that look up to you as god, etc.

Regarding this and all arguments pointed at men: You need to realize that a lot of guys complaining are not merely wishing for sex. These are not necessarily the same individuals. For instance, asking men to keep themselves in check when judging women, and seeing this as a potential road to recovery, is actually a total dead end. Aggrieved incels are not the ones getting laid repeatedly and rewarding women in the short-term for their long-term self-destructive behavior. Women are not incentivized to do anything at the whims of incels. Bottom-tier women have a lot more pull than below-average men. The bottom rung of men have zero influence whatsoever. The guys complaining have no sway here. This power disparity is why any calls upon men to do more for women are (as always) deeply misguided when women seem to be losing themselves even more year after year and are not being met with any calls for regulation of behavior (such calls are viewed as deeply suspicious).

Likewise, guys with standards who want a serious relationship even if they can pull a slut are easily ignored if they're not so desirable. The guys you're complaining about are a rather select few who have nothing to gain from listening to you but this kind of complaint is always generalized to cover all men, including the ones who would change it if they could, and are doing nothing to drive this issue.

Full disclosure: I'm gay, so my stance is perhaps naturally male-biased, but I have no vested interest in the straight dating market.

To advance what Botond said, I think you need some perspective if your answer is "6'3'' male virgin is easily able to acquire a one-night-stand." This doesn't really in any way offer a solution to a large portion of men that are practically seen as subhuman in a dating context and are also not interested in one-night stands. It's cool that a guy who meets an elite standard can get the bare minimum, but what about everyone else?

I think this is not at all what I was saying?

Mostly I was making a point about how bad it can be to be stuck in the paranoid section of virginity, and that getting out has a big noticeable change. The height was added to make it more believable that he was able to get out as easily as just having a female friend tell another female friend to bed him.

I also have a charismatic male friend that is 5'5 that was having trouble finding a wife. Now he has one that he met through rec kickball, they are about to have a baby. But he wasn't paranoid and thinking that women were out to hate him, so he didn't really fit in that section of the story.

Its more weird to me that ya'll just see 6'3 male and immediately think "elite". I'd bet on my 5'5 friend in getting a girl any day of the week over my 6'3 friend. There are lots of non-height characteristics that matter. I actually think the biggest cheat code characteristic for guys is humor. Surveys of women asking what traits they value all include some variant of "humor/funny".


I agree with you on a lot of what you're saying and I think hating women as people is unfair and a dead end, but the fact remains that they pretty much hold all the cards in a dating context and seem to be taking every possible path to make themselves unhappy when given the choice, and the biggest victim in this story seems to be unwanted men that no one sympathizes with. Constantly they are told that they must improve themselves, they must become highly-fit breadwinners with perfect attitudes (let's talk about height as little as possible), but then you have to ask: what are they doing this for? My problem with the war on the sexes is that men are being held to an elite standard despite so many of them being disqualified for standards they have no control over, while at the same time we demand women be naturally accepted with no standards even as they raise ever-increasing standards upon others.

This description just feels so foreign to me. Its like listening to someone describe arranged marriages in India. I don't doubt that this state of affairs exists somewhere. I just don't see it at all.

I have many cousins on my side and my wife's side all in the 15-30 year old age range. I've been to quite a few of their weddings. Except for one or two they aren't bombshells/chads and they aren't marrying perfect people either. I do remember some of them talking about it being hard to find dates, that was during peak covid. But those same ones complaining are now engaged or already married. Its a similar story with my highschool and college friends.

Its just super rare for me to know anyone that:

  1. Wants to date and get married.
  2. Makes an effort to date and get married.
  3. Is not married within 5 years of doing the previous two things.

Literally the only exception I know of is my 6'3 male friend. Who is painfully socially awkward, has a stutter half the time, works basically slightly above minimum wage, and has only recently crossed over the 5 year mark (but he has had far more success than when he started).


Its possible I'm just not friends with or related to anyone who is truly bottom of the barrel.

Actually, no way is that second part true. I'm definitely related to some bottom of the barrel straight trash people, like my one Aunt. Think welfare queen mom always looking for a handout, got so annoying and persistent about handouts that she managed to get kicked out of the mormon church (the family wasn't originally mormon, or even living anywhere remotely near a mormon community). Multiple husbands, they've all left her. Even the ones that were beating her left her. Two kids, each to a different dad. She has a diagnosed schizophrenic son (my cousin) who also mostly lives the welfare life after his diagnosis. He can't hold down fast food jobs or basic construction jobs. He gives off creep vibes on Jesus stuff. Has had the facial hair and demeanor of a school shooter for most of his life, but is slowly graduating into run of the mill serial killer demeanor. Anyways, that fucking guy is married somehow.

Mostly I think about the bottom of society and I'm happy and fine if they are not dating or getting married. If they manage to find love good on them and I wouldn't take it away from them. I wouldn't suggest to my cousin's wife that she should divorce him. But I might have told her to run on the first date.


Where I'm coming at this whole thing is with the perspective that:

  1. Dating and ultimately marriage is difficult and tends to take many years. But it is still possible, and happens quite often for a range of people.
  2. I rarely interact with any of the "extremes" I have no incel situations I know about since the last one was resolved. I know very few super hot men or women, and mostly don't interact with them on a regular basis.
  3. Cultural expectations are weak on dating/marriage requirements. You met your spouse while drunk scrolling on tinder? No one bats an eye, not even an interesting story. Different race? who cares. Different religion? Oh, does that mean two weddings .. are we invited to both? If not, again who cares. Only thing I ever see friends and family concerned about: do they love you? Are they treating you well?

Its possible that just a middle class outside a major metropolitan area perspective on dating. But there are enough women in such areas that I think someone trying to date is shooting themself in the foot if they are only paying attention to the hyper competitive metropolitan or high class dating scenes.