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PaperclipPerfector  3d ago (text post)   2437 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 18, 2026

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So, what are you reading?

I'm still on Ahmed's Archaeology of Babel. Not much progress.

Back to Sword of the Lictor after finishing Will of the Many and the sequel Strength of the Few.

Anyone ever get so mad at a story with such good bones and interesting fundamentals but that goes off into left field and because trashy YA slop with a Gary Stu Chosen one, poor pacing, bad characterization, and a what feels like a missed opportunity for something actually wonderful? Despite disliking writing, I strongly feel the urge to "re-write" Will of the Many. I get what the author was trying to do with these two books, and while I'm doubtful he has the skills to actually pull it off, I do get it. It could be interesting. But the plot, world, and characters he abandoned to go off and do these "subverting expectations" maneuvers were actually good (though his characters are all around terribly written).

I get what the author was trying to do with these two books, and while I'm doubtful he has the skills to actually pull it off,

Worth noting that the author has a previous book series about time travel that does some very elegant and intricate stuff, while the writing has some issues the managing the complex plot is not one of them.

I haven't read the Licanus trilogy, but its at least comforting to hear he can keep a complex plot going. However there are a pretty constant set of signposts that have me worried. (Minor spoilers)

  • In WotM whenever the main character runs into a challenge he magically repeats a mantra like this: "Well back home I had the best tutors in the world, they taught me how to take the best, most perfect poop in any toilet. Little does this enemy know that I am very experienced at taking a dump...", then he proceeds to win. Rinse and repeat for every situation in the book.
  • The 2nd book adds 2 extra worlds, we meet a new cast of companions and enemies in each of the new worlds. There is legitimately not enough pages in the book for these characters to be anything more than cardboard cut outs. This book could have used some beta readers or an editor telling him to add 200 pages or split this into 2-3 shorter books
  • The one character other than the main character that got character development was killed off at the middle of arc 3 in a way that will be a stretch for any resurrection shenanigans. I don't really mind character deaths but this feels inefficient from a plot perspective as at least 50 pages was invested in this character in an already extremely tight book. There was a lot of tell-not-show in #2, if a death was required to motivate the MC then killing one of those characters would have been more efficient.
  • Lastly, Book #1 introduced, and book #2 continue to have these devices that are essentially infinite negative utility torture devices. They chain you to one and it makes you comatose and sucks the life out of you over a decade, while making you a magical battery for someone else. In world it's extremely horrific, people in them do anything they can to get out. They seemingly have thousands of them, despite them being rare. It's a massive plot hole that they don't just put anyone who is even a little inconvenient into one, or threaten anyone who does do what they want with being put in one. Infinite use, zero-cost, passive torture devices solve a lot of problems.

None of these are explicitly plot-based problems (besides #4), they are almost to a T, character-based problems. But they are so bad as to be crippling, in my opinion, to a well oiled plot.

I could write a whole effortpost about The Hierarchy series.

I'll restrict myself for now to saying that's what particularly weird about the characters in these books is that James Islington is capable of writing good characters (I really like Lanistia, Ulciscor, and Veridius, for instance). He just seems to really like spending time with the absolutely least interesting ones. Eidhin is one of the least compelling characters I've ever come across, yet you can tell that the author loves him for some reason. It's the same with the whole cast of non-entities the main character spends hundreds of pages with in Luceum (honestly, I think it's only there because the author discovered during that he loves Gaelic Britain, and wanted to shoehorn as much of that type of thing into the bookas possible rather than saving it for an unrelated series).

Also, I know this line of criticism has been done to death, but I wanted to throw the book out the window during the whole scene where he beats the girl who's a champion at that world's thinly-disguised version of chess. "She's clearly really good and experienced. This gives me, the less experienced player, the advantage!". That's not how these things work!

Oh I think I could too, I might just write an effort-post inspired by The Hierarchy.

I think there is a very interesting philosophical question essentially posed by the Anguis. The concept of citizens ceding power, makes them legitimate military targets because of actions the government using that power. It leaves plenty of thoughts about the lineage of responsibility in a democratic system, or any system whose legitimacy is derived from the will of the masses. Unfortunately, I think JI balked at that topic. The Anguis are portrayed as evil and wrong, the sappers destroy any credibility of citizens willingly participating in the system, infinite torture is pretty coercive, and the government of the Cetanan Republic is never explored, we never see any elections, and fundamentally it seems to just be an aristocracy/oligarchy with late roman republic veneers. (This is the part I want to re-write)

I actually agree, partially about writing good characters. I think Lanistia & Ulciscor are good characters. I think Ulciscor x Vis's relationship could actually have been fleshed out in a way to demonstrate this conflict of vengeance vs the son he never had (but wants). But JI seemingly doesn't want to explore the characters, or more particularly, feels compelled by the plot to drive to a particular pacing that leaves no room for the character development. I found Eidhin (clever, brutish but awkward foreigner), Callidus (book smart, unpopular nerd), Aequa (enemy to ride-or-die bestie, maybe lover), and Emissa (stunningly beautiful, in love with the MC, conflicted intrigue plot) to be boring, drab, trope-y characters. Even with Aequa's death in Book #2 I still could not tell you much of their personality beyond that they would do whatever the MC wants.

I maintain that Luceum and/or Obiteum should have been an additional book, Cliff hang the nexus in Res once he steps into the portal, 2nd book explores Luceum and Obiteum with switching PoVs, keep what happened a bit mysterious. 3rd book returns to a concurrent Res arc, with some subtle clues aligning cross-world occurrences (pain, dreams, etc), leave it up to the readers to match events, connect the Obiteum vision, and puzzle out the cross world synchronicity and what it means. End the 3rd book by merging all the 3 worlds and the revelations about Ka and O/L-Caeror. We then get more fleshed out Luceum on Obiteum characters, we get a better, more enjoyable Res plotline, with good character development all around. That would be conducive of actual Adult Fantasy, not this line that in my opinion straddles YA.

The Foundation game is a perfect example of what I call "The plot needs Vis to succeed, so he succeeds" and it is justified by him having some tutor that makes him a genius at this particular topic. I think the sword fighting is another, as is the bare-knuckle brawling, the seal-team-6-batman-blimp mission during the Festival of the Ancestor. It just begins to beggar belief. Plots that rely on an MC being a Gary Stu/Mary Su are badly written plots. Foundational principle of good Sci-Fi/Fantasy.

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