The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I'm a nerdy guy looking to develop my action-taking side. Bookishness is nice and all, but the reserved temperament doesn't jive with my dreams to become an action-hero.
What actions did y'all take to become more risk-taking and less prone to analysis paralysis? Maybe something a bit more specific than "just take small risks and scale upward!" I'd venture a guess that certain hobbies and activities -- certain sports, handiwork, skilled trades -- develop the qualities of manly self-assurance more than others. Has anybody undertaken a similar path to self-improvement?
I started partner dancing. First ballroom, then swing. I’d recommend starting with some type of swing dance.
I also started doing yoga. A lot of action taking imo is just having better kinesthetic awareness or awareness of where your body is in different scenarios. The key is to practice it so much it becomes effortless or subconscious, you just sort of become graceful.
Most non-nerdy people don’t understand how crucial this is because it’s just kind of the default for them. I’d argue @udfgt is getting at something similar, but contrary to his testosterone fueled declarations physicality is what’s important to masculinity, not a capacity for violence or some outdated ability to provide basic sustenance needs 10,000 years after the invention of agriculture.
Trust me, you want to be wary of the type of man who will just tell you to lift and learn to shoot guns and chug beer and ride motorbikes. First off it’s a hollow definition of masculinity. (Although the focus on family and leadership, if there, is important.)
Second, if you start trying to move in those circles with no understanding of how to use your body, you’ll get hurt. Perhaps permanently. Too many gym bros are willing to just yell “PUSH!” when you’re struggling with the last rep of your set, even if they claim they’re all about safety outside of a workout.
This isn’t to say that all of ‘pop masculinity’ is bad, but speaking from personal experience you ought to be wary.
I think the wariness of pop-masculinity is warranted and cultural attempts to reclaim masculinity are often reactive. There are political reasons for that. The Left hates pretty much all traditional masculinity and so mocks it with reductive caricatures of anger, excess and bravado. The Right often responds, intentionally or not, by embracing this caricature of masculinity. Boomer-tier memes of guns n' trucks abound. That these things are considered "masculine" with no reference to craftsmanship, robust physical culture, or the higher virtues like honor and courage leaves the impression that men are chasing shadows of a once-unified ideal. I'm not naive enough to think that this was ever a settled image -- there were many of masculine archetypes through Western history. But these archetypes share traits. A few of them are a willingness to take physical risks, an emphasis on physical development, and an honor culture.
So of course testosterone matters in cultivating the physical and psychic qualities of manliness. It's no secret that testosterone levels in men have been declining and that our culture encourages this emasculation. That passive entertainments like video games and sportsball are indicators of modern male identity is a tell that our culture is degraded. They're abstractions of war and sport. The solution, best I can tell, is to meet the realities again. Lifting heavy objects is probably the most direct way to do that. I prefer bodyweight exercises to start with. It's possible to do many improving workouts with one's body in a small space. Plus, it helps to avoid the problem you identify with lifting too much with improper form. I think it's important to get a good foundation of balance and flexibility before lifting heavy stuff for those who aren't used to using their bodies for labor.
Swing dance seems like good fun. I'll look into it.
Yep sounds like we’re broadly in agreement. I’ve got nothing against lifting weights and agree it’s probably the best way to gain strength muscle etc. My problem is with the culture typically associated with lifting nowadays.
East and west coast swing are probably the most accessible styles. The coasts are just where the dance developed, geography doesn’t really matter for them.
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