The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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I've booked a week off work starting on Saturday (well, Sunday technically because I'm doing a night shift on Friday night). However, as it approaches, I don't really know why I bothered. I don't really have anything I want to do, and if anything, I'm worried I'm going to spend the whole week sitting around feeling depressed.
Other than work and the gym (which makes me hate myself as often as not), I find it very hard to actually care about anything or feel motivated. I feel basically no desire to talk to my friends, or to meet new people either. I don't really have any desire for sex and I don't have any hopes of having a relationship either.
I just got into my first ever real relationship at 29 years old. It's literally less than two weeks old. In some ways I feel better, but in other ways I feel disappointed. Having a girlfriend didn't fix me. If you had a girlfriend your week off would most likely be full of activities, but maybe you wouldn't care much about them. You exchange one set of problems/anxieties for another when your life changes.
Well, there's never any guarantee that any change will lead to happiness, but the conclusion can't be that change is pointless.
I'm not really in much of a position to give relationship advice, but I don't think it's the right perspective to see a partner as someone to 'fix' you. They're just someone that you like, that you desire, that you want to make happy, and that feels the same way about you. And if in the process that changes you, that can happen too, but it probably won't if you overthink it.
Increasingly I suspect this kind of suspicion of desire is a trap for me. Trying to avoid wanting things or asserting my own desires has left me at 31 with nothing, not even much in the way of fond memories.
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