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naraburns  nihil supernum  11mo ago (text post)   3949 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for April 30, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I'm nearing 30 with a useless degree and no full-time job, and I'm trying to figure out what might be a good path for me. The thought of being a public school teacher has occurred to me, and while there are several potential issues, this one is the hardest to talk about.

I am somewhere on the spectrum of ephebophilia. I am not PRIMARILY attracted to 16 year old girls, but once a girl has physically matured, I am attracted to her whether she's 16 or 36. Making it more awkward is that I sometimes have more in common with teenagers than I do people my own age. I developed a crush on a 17 year old when I was 25. I'm obviously not going to make any moves on a kid, but I don't have a poker face, and I fear that when I find a student attractive, people will know.

Does this seem like a reasonable reason not to teach high school students? (Obviously middle school is fine, but let's assume high school is what's on the table.)

Sexual attraction to post-pubescent, sexually-mature minors is not a disorder and doesn’t need a name like ‘ephebophilia’. Up until extremely recently, it’s just what people called ‘normal’. No one in a professional setting would dare talk about it, but for evolutionary reasons, I wager that kind of attraction is dramatically more common than its absence.

Just don’t stare or be creepy, and no one will be able to tell whom you’re attracted to. On the off chance someone can tell, big whoop: every other male is also attracted. It’s not actually illegal or against any school policy to experience attraction, so long as you don’t act on it.

So yea, don’t let this issue keep you from being a teacher if that’s the best move for you. Just lie about whom you’re attracted to like everyone else. Judging by your username, are you autistic? This is the kind of unwritten, unspoken rule I’d expect a person on the spectrum to have an issue with.

Yes, I am autistic. That's likely why I have more interests in common with teenagers than I do people my own age, and it's also why (I believe that) I am worse at hiding my emotions than other people. I appreciate your reassurance, and this goes for everyone in this thread saying something similar.

Asking out of ignorance, doesn’t autism make it difficult to interact with classes full of rowdy teenagers all day long?

It very well may! I have only interacted with teenagers individually since leaving high school.

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