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PaperclipPerfector  11mo ago (text post)   2644 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for May 5, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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TRIAL by wager of WILDERNESS.

I have been thinking about something: in ages past, men went to war to prove themselves. They still do, today, and the survivors I have seen return more attractive, although they pay an immense price, and that is only counting those that return more or less in one piece. Now, war is more destructive than it once was, and we don't think highly of war in general, for good reason.

Therefore: I have been training for this for the past year or so. I plan to have myself dumped into the Alaskan wilderness in late February, 50 miles from the nearest road or civilization. I'll walk out, and if I make it out alive, I'll have been hardened by my experience. I'll have stared my own death in the goddamn face, braving temperatures of 40 below 0 just to walk out alive.

Do you think that this will make my ugly, autistic ass any more attractive? I've heard it said that you have never lived until you have almost died, and that tough, masculine men are attractive AF. This seems like something that would harden someone...either permanently, as a rock-solid corpse, or permanently, as a wilderness-hardened man.

TL;DR Is dumping myself in the middle of the woods in Alaska in winter gonna make me more attractive, if I survive?

I don't see the mechanism by which it would make you more physically attractive. If your intention is to tell women you did this, I expect it would only make you less attractive. They would think you are either crazy or lying.

Having faced mortal danger after training and preparing, and come back in one piece.

I’ve never seen combat vets have trouble finding dates…no matter how alcoholic or fucked up they are.

Will "mortal danger" change how you look in a way that makes it obvious to women what you went through? Will it change something else about you so that women will be able to perceive it and therefore be more attracted to you?

Or is your plan to tell women that you did this? Because I expect women's reactions to someone saying they're a combat veteran and someone saying they deliberately got lost in the Alaskan wilderness would be very different. The former is hot, the latter is just weird. If you already come off as autistic in conversations, this won't help.

Hmm. I don't know if 'being a combat veteran' allows you to have a girlfriend while acutely dying from alcoholism-induced liver failure. I don't know. I suspect that that sort of thing does change a person for life; I think it makes them more attractive, but it is expensive: you might die. You might get maimed. This is the point.

I'd call it a 'winter backpacking trip' or something like that.

I can hear it now: "And this crazy dumb fuck dumped himself in fuckin' Alaska for some reason. Dude survived, but he's fucking nuts." Some might respect it. Others might think it was idiotic. I've spoken to people that admired Chris McCandless (RIP).

The Hock will fix everything

Does it grant you the spirit and soul of the true Chad?

In the way that a sculptor discovers the statue, the Hock will break you until only Strength remains

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