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Wellness Wednesday for May 10, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I recently found a simple (albeit tedious) way to dramatically improve my experience of using Twitter, to filter out the specific topics which I hate, and I want to share this method.

It's simple: just keep identifying key words which you associate with below-average tweets being shown to you (according to your personal standards), and then keep adding those words to your muted words list. (Not just key words from top-level tweets, but also key words you associate with mediocre reply tweets as well).

This is mathematically guaranteed to make your life better, as long as those key words really are commonly found in your least-favorite tweets.

I have tried repeatedly letting Twitter know about specific tweets which I am not interested in, and over time it helps, but Twitter's algorithm seems to be very determined to "push" certain kinds of tweets (probably because those tweets are associated with higher overall engagement). The only absolute way to block these tweets is to block every single plausible unique word associated with those types of tweets.

To mute words on desktop browser, go to: Home > 3 dots (...) > Settings & Support > Settings & Privacy > Privacy & Safety > Mute & Block > Muted Words > "+"

Or set up a bookmark directing to https://twitter.com/settings/muted_keywords

(In the app it is a similar sequence of steps.)

Then decide how long you want to mute the word. (I usually mute words forever.) If you want to block a phrase, use quotation marks "". You can also choose to not mute tweets which are replying to your own tweets.

I know it's tedious to do this, but it will save you from reading thousands of awful tweets. It pays for itself in a massive way.

Also, Twitter will tell you which reply tweets have been muted, and you can display them if you want, to double-check that you are in fact muting tweets which aren't worth reading.

This is my list of muted words so far, in case you also want to block any of the tweets with these words, or just to see what this might look like. (One annoying aspect is that you have to mute literally every single permutation of certain words and topics.)

Muted words:

"#thread" savetonotion @savetonotion @threadreaderapp threadreaderapp @rattibha @readwise readwise "action shooter" fps santos shit insurrection j6 "gaming session" "ass up" rattibha unroll "my dude" misgender misgendering "biological woman" "biological female" TERF "gender critical" mutilate mutilation "biological male" "biological man" demons demon cucked cuck carroll doge "bitcoin prize" "exclusive content" puberty transitioning transition chevy "sexual harassment" "michael obama" michelle "IRA" hexican Litecoin cryptocurrency crypto bitcoin dysphoric dysphoria cdc flu "identifies as" pedo "minor attracted" pedophile "turning points" "charlie kirk" "vaccineinjuries" "vaccineinjured" "vaccineinjury" "james cameron" mtg "january6" "january 6" "jan6" "january 6th" avatar "sexual orientation" lindell pillow mypillow espn football basketball nba nfl crapper lgbwithoutthet fauci gates schwab WEF vaccines mrna gender tran troon trans covid vax unvaccinated vaccine "prince harry" markle incel trump impeachment impeached impeach hamlin damar aella Andrew Tate Kari Lake kari Kari's tates Tate's "Tate" Cobratate cobra tate "andrew tate" "andrewtate" repukkklican Hitler nazi "p e l o s i" nigga nigger "n word" hammering hammered hammers hammer bolsonaro bolsanaro lula qanon "piece of shit" truss underwear catturd2 catturd "name is david" berkeley nudist "body counts" "body count" "jake paul" prostitute's prostitute depape's depape "peter mccullough" ligma "gave the order" pelosi's pelosi vagina penis paul pelosi "paul pelosi" wordle shapecel wordcel autogolpe

One might think I was a liberal from reading this list, but actually I am a (mostly) conservative who is just tired of certain topics and would prefer to see other things now.

Also, some of these words do sometimes show up in great tweets, but not often enough for me to put up with all the worse tweets which contain those words.

I hope this is helpful!

I'd like to say that I'm confused.

My Twitter feed is nowhere near as degenerate as yours must be, if you feel the need to roll out such filters. After I've broken it in, mine seems better than even curated Reddit at finding things I might enjoy!

I realize I was possibly overly vague about the specific ways I admire you, vectors along which I would welcome tips from you at any time, if you cared to share them-

-You seem to be more perceptive & appreciative of a wider array of cultures, than most

-You seem to be less limited by any conventional forms of identity, and more open to transformation

-You seem quite smart, and you're a very good writer

-You seem quite friendly and happy

Tips always welcome! I am sure I am not the only person here who appreciates your influence a lot.

You seem to be more perceptive & appreciative of a wider array of cultures, than most

I'd chalk this down to being a very atypical India who is quite unhappy in India. If you don't like your native culture, you can't help but try and find out more about others.

Now, over the years, I've become less of a West-aboo, especially give the rise of Wokism. I can appreciate the aspects of it I care to nurture, like liberalism; while also appreciating certain aspects of my own. Extended families, more interest in academic performance, the optional fallback of arranged marriages, all of these are things I now appreciate. But the best part of the West, and why I'm moving there, is that you have a great deal more freedom to import your own cultural mores in addition to the local ones, as opposed to cultures that are more insistent on conformity.

You seem to be less limited by any conventional forms of identity, and more open to transformation

I've been a transhumanist ever since I was a child reading sci-fi.

Ever since I realized the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel

There's no solution for me to share here, either you are simply highly open-minded and unattached to your current form, or you aren't. You could try psychedelics if you want to try and boost your openness to experience, but that has its own risks and downsides like becoming more susceptible to woo. As a doctor, while I consider the human body as a marvel, I can also see it as the machine it is, with obvious design flaws.

You seem quite smart, and you're a very good writer

Thank you! I pride myself on my writing, and being significantly smarter than average, even if it's gauche to celebrate the latter. I've never taken an explicit IQ test, but based on standarized tests, I should be at least 99th percentile in terms of IQ, or ~130, which is also around what I got the times I solved Ravens Progressive Matrices (a very large component of modern IQ testing) online or with an app. Still wish I was smarter though, and while my mom was great at art and by dad at math, when it was my turn the both canceled out, leaving me a 99.999th percentile Wordcel haha

Unfortunately, there's no real way, easy or hard, to significantly boost your intelligence at all; and humans have been trying for a good while. Of course, if you're a Mottizen, you're already a cut above average.

If you want your kids to be smart, suppress the urge to marry hot bimbos, and choose a smart partner. Rich dudes who marry trophy wives with an empty display case in their skulls are doing their kids a disservice.

As for writing, well, once again largely immutable, but with significant effort, you can improve to a degree. Additionally, writing a lot will obviously improve your quality and output. Now, you can also use GPT-4 as a writing aid, albeit for me it's often not worth the hindrance since I still think I can write better than it can if I care to.

You seem quite friendly and happy

I do my best to be nice to people until they give me good reason otherwise, be it online or IRL. This can be improved with practice, though my parents inculcated a great deal of politeness in me, and in my adulthood I've noticed you can get quite far by being kind and considerate.

Unfortunately, I am anything but happy IRL, even if my efforts to be more expressive and enthusiastic than most give that impression. I'm pretty depressed, to the point that I'm mostly just holding on till I can find a definitive cure, perhaps ketamine therapy in the UK, or electroconvulsive therapy, albeit the latter scares me due to memory loss.

Still, I do try to be nice, and mostly avoid descending into bitterness in my interpersonal relationships.

If you want your kids to be smart, suppress the urge to marry hot bimbos, and choose a smart partner. Rich dudes who marry trophy wives with an empty display case in their skulls are doing their kids a disservice.

That is true.

If you are fairly well-off (say, a doctor or techbro) but also very unattractive, how might you do this while making reasonably sure that the kids are raised in an OK environment...no abusive shitbaggery, plus basic food, shelter, and medical care. I don't know about the route of importing a wife...that might work, but again, she's disgusted by you (for good reason!) and is only with you for $$$ and a green card. Maybe the husband's going to be a decent human being to the stepchildren. Maybe not; I've heard some stories.

I have no idea what specific combination of events made you so intensely self-loathing and nihilistic.

Since you're a med student, just know that you're going well past the LD-50 of black pills, and to no good end. There is such a thing as overcorrection away from normie stupidity.

Even if you're very unattractive, it's still exceedingly unlikely that your spouse would be outright abusive to your kids. You'd have to pretty bloody unlucky, and in any relationship of reasonable length, you're likely to be able to filter out the psychos youeelr before they baby trap you.

The "maybe, maybe not" mindset is pointlessly helpless when perhaps fewer than 5% of all people are abusive to their kids, and maybe sub 1% for outright damaging.

Also, women are simply not as motivated by looks alone as men are, a strong provider looks eminently more desirable once they're past the fuck around phase in their early 30s.

I get it, you drew the short straw on looks, height, and being remarkably autistic. Even then, if you're intelligent and hard working, you can compensate a great deal with money.

Maybe your mail order wife isn't head over heels in love with you, but in all likelihood she's going to be content, and if you have kids, unlikely to abuse them, because most people don't abuse their biological offspring.

I am not sure about that. I think I'd be divorced at best and get my throat slit for life insurance money or something at worst. I don't blame her for that and am even mostly okay with that... if she's a decent mom, provides basic food shelter and medical care with her ill-gotten gains, and doesn't look the other way if her new boyfriend rapes the kids. I think it is relatively unlikely but fairly possible that my spouse might be an abusive shitbag to the kids…but more likely that she divorces my disgusting ass when the ink is dry on the green card, gets with another dude, and that dude is abusive to the stepkids. Kinda sucks for your kids to be raped by Mom’s new boyfriend while you can’t do shit about it.

As far as content: people can habituate to quite a lot, but I think that the absolute best outcome is that she is only mildly disgusted by me, loves our kids, and is with me because I send a bunch of money to her desperately impoverished family of origin. I don’t know much about alimony…say I’m earning $250k after taxes, could she potentially get $150k of that as alimony and child support? Maybe she endures being with me because she is devoutly religious or something and admires that I’m basically a cash cow for her family? Like…I don’t see a damn bit of value I’d provide that a smelly ATM can’t. At that point I’m basically livestock on legs, being milked for cash and either put out to pasture (where I had better cough up that milk and lots of it, or go to prison) or slaughtered (if it’s not too dangerous, and I’m worth it as meat).

No, most women are not like this. My argument is essentially garbage IN, garbage OUT: you fish with dogshit bait, you get shit results.

I know someone whose mother tried to fucking kill them when they were ten. Their father? A 5'4" special forces officer. Height can be that brutal if you aren't also rich, part of a religious community, or lucky.

As far as nihilism and self-loathing: I’ll cop (somewhat) to the second. As for the first: being very unattractive often leads to that. As can large changes in appearance, in either direction. Still. My interpretation is that people, in thinking that I can have a relationship, have faith in me to turn shit into sugar. To have a good (or at least decent) family in the midst of tragedy, to be a good father and husband while dealing with the fallout of a wife in and out of some kind of institution or other. That is a lot of faith to have in a person: be a good father and husband while dealing with What’s Eating Gilbert Grape-tier shit. I’ve seen it happen…one of my medschool classmates had a background like that.

Their father? A 5'4" special forces officer. Height can be that brutal if you aren't also rich, part of a religious community, or lucky.

You say this as if 5'4" men's wives usually attempt to kill their kids. That's such a rare occurrence that you're doing an incredible amount of reaching just to connect the two factors.

5'4" men are either remarkable, very lucky, or they decide where they want the ambulances. I've only once seen a 5'4" man with a woman that was sane and not morbidly obese. He was a future neurosurgeon with enough charisma for a career in politics.

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