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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   32555 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of June 12, 2023

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While a somewhat interesting idea, I think it falls pray to missing the point. The opposition to trans isn’t solely rooted in a logical question about categories; it is rooted in the concept that trans ideology imposes social costs (often by harming girls and youngwomen), can be a fetish the person is making others play out with him, and doesn’t lead to human flourishing.

Step moms often can be pro social and therefore the debate about “are they a mom” isn’t really important in the same way.

Without necessarily subscribing to the position myself, couldn't one make a similar argument for fracturing the definition of parenthood? That accepting different people as "mom" damages the category, breaking down traditional roles and responsibilities, and implying a level of malleability that is both out of step with biological reality and corrosive to society. If so, any individual could be quite pro-social while the recognition of the institution of parenthood as flexible could be dangerous.

I think you see something similar claimed by the more tepid trans-skeptical (which I would probably group myself with) - sure, there are some people that genuinely have gender dysphoria, were always going to have gender dysphoria, and it would be best to do what we can to make those people comfortable, but enthusiastically embracing them as "real women" and telling everyone that gender is malleable is going to lead to a hell of a lot more mental illness and cause way more damage if we make a big deal out of it. Likewise, any individual may be in a difficult position where they're just trying to do the right thing for the kids, and they may deserve for everyone to just call them "mom" for the sake of everyone involved, but we shouldn't start acting like this is as just and good and just as valid of a relationship as a traditional two-parent household.

I agree there should be a lot more stigma associated with breaking up households. Kids deserve to have both parents present.

But in some situations (eg remarry after death) I could totally see a loving stepmom fill the role. It wouldn’t be untoward for her stepkids to give her a Mother’s Day card instance.

At the same time, she isn’t the actual mother.

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