The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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"Gentlemen" of the motte. What do you expect in return for... being a gentleman.
I was reading a post in my cities subreddit asking "Do you give up your metroseat for women?".
Most responses were along the lines of "no unless they are pregnant". But some were really making an attempt to claim the moral highground. "My mom raised me to be a gentlemen" from the males to "there are no more gentlemen!" From the females.
I was left thinking thats well and good. But no man is actually taking a purely raw deal just because right? He must expect something in return, not from the individual woman, but the social structure as a whole. I dont know.
What is that something?
I sometimes wish it was still in style to. I'm in a purple metro and took public transportation for quite a while.
I never had anyone be outright rude when I offered a seat, but I did have women refuse to take it until another man would sit down, so I stopped offering.
I've also only ever had one rude door-opening experience in my life. I think the secret is to, with body language, ensure the person knows that the open door or vacated seat is provided without any expectation. As @raggedy_anthem mentioned, a polite thank you or smile is awesome, but mentally expecting those things will be picked up by anyone you're being a gentlemen to.
My wife got a noticeable uptick in this behavior when pregnant which I think is most appropriate.
The bottom line is I think that the "mean, ungrateful feminist bitch" is still mostly a boogeyman in my neck of the woods. But in NY or Cali I don't know what the balance is.
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