The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
My interest in being around other people and socializing is nearing an all-time low. I feel like I’m far more motivated by logic/rationality/truth-seeking/optimization than the people I meet in person. I also seem to care far less about social approval than the people I meet. I’m just not motivated or energized enough to play the social games to get positive attention IRL and social media likes. A lot of interactions just seem like I’m pretending to be interested in something so the person I’m interacting with can pretend to like me. Consequently, I don’t have very many friends and my career progress is slower than the people I graduated with.
I’m not motivated much by work anymore because even when I improve something and do an excellent job it doesn’t get me very far. I see people put way less effort and thought into things but they get promotions because they are good at playing the social games/office politics.
Outside of a few places on the internet, like here, I don’t feel like there are many spaces that I can have conversations that are intellectually stimulating to me. Most people just aren’t interested in discussing rationality concepts or contrarian ideas.
How can I become more interested in socializing with other people and playing the social games? I’m currently content spending a lot of time in solitude, but I feel like eventually this lifestyle will take a toll on my mental health. It is already causing me to become more cynical and jaded about humanity.
Understand that being superior means being a superset, not a set complement. Regardless of how special that resulting set is.
Meaning that you should be able to discuss rationalist concepts and contrarian ideas objectively in addition to being able to socialize with "normal" people. Assuming these are mutually exclusive is cope.
Why do this at all? The most powerful (not the traditional meaning of the word) people I know. The smartest, the most creative and most successful dont struggle with the kind of ideas we discuss on the motte. In fact that they can work with such a wide array is what makes them powerful. They are supersets of multiple people in one.
IME I've gotten over my disdain for dealing with "normies" once I internalized this. However this insight was downstream of just socializing anyways against my will, I just had to get over my disdain in any way possible.
Being able to do as much won't suddenly rob you of your ability to come on the motte and talk like an evil robot.
I can, I just don’t enjoy doing so anymore.
I get too frustrated that the Overton window is so narrow. If I approach things as a centrist (acknowledge the steelman on both sides) or say something like, “I was listening to Joe Rogan and…” I get treated like a social pariah. People have this attitude that they have to shut down the conversation as soon as someone mentions anything positive about the outgroup.
Socializing with "normal" people (risk averse overton window compliant people might be a better description of the shape?) in ways I find deeply meaningful is hard! But it can be rewarding.
I am of the strong opinion that people who shut down if you say something like “I was listening to Joe Rogan and…” Are doing something wrong. These people- need help. It's not your duty to get through to them and it can be very difficult- some people will just cling tighter even if you intimately befriend them first. But if you can get through to people and figure out how to uplift them, jailbreak them, and open their minds and help them to safely explore new ideas without fearing social retribution, value shift, and ego death...
Getting through to people can be very rewarding <3
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link