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Friday Fun Thread for August 4, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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How to Open Jars as a Woman or a Weak Man

We've all been there. We go into the fridge for a late night snack. The jar of unopened pickles sits there, taunting us. How will we get to the delicious contents there-in?

It might be tempting to simply take the jar and shatter it against the counter, allowing one to grab the pickles up off the floor. It's true, this is a convenient and compelling method. We can deal with the pickle brine and shards of broken glass the next morning.

But this might not be the great solution it seems at first glance. For one, your roommates might be disturbed by the sound of broken glass. It's also possible you could get pickle juice on your socks.

Another popular method of opening a jar is to pass it around a group of men (or, hilariously, a woman) to allow the best and strongest among them to open the jar. This can be effective, although often the person who opens the jar is merely the beneficiary of the person immediately before who loosened it up. The moral hazard of allowing one person to claim credit that is properly due to society at large should not be encouraged.

The laws of physics state that warm water passed over the lid of a pickle jar will cause you to burn your hand while not eating pickles.

You could also try whacking the lid against the counter or with a hammer or something, but now we're just back to the first method again.

No - for women and weak men there is one true and best way to open a stubborn jar. Use a glove or oven mitt with some friction. Works every time.

Whack the bottom with the heel of your hand a few times then try again.

If that doesn't do it, the never-fail solution is to put some dents in the edge of the lid by tapping around its circumference with a utensil. The best option for this is holding a butter knife by the blade and hitting with the handle.

Not sure how bad this is for the seal if you're intending to reseal it long term, but this always works.