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Culture War Roundup for the week of August 7, 2023

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Im not entirely convinced that the draw backs of being a single mother

The entire outcome discrepancy for kids of single parents is due to shitty genes. Kids of widowers do just fine. Not that they don't miss their parent, but re: crime, income, education they're not at a disadvantage.

  1. shitty genes

  2. shitty environment. Dad getting hit by a drunk driver was a different (and probably better) father before he died than the guy who left for a pack of cigarettes and didn't come back.

The entire outcome discrepancy for kids of single parents is due to shitty genes.

Or being poor b/c you're in a one income household, the lack of attention when young, the lack of a positive role model, growing up in a more dangerous environment (see being poorer), ...

Do you really think it all boils down to just one thing (that you happen to be big on)?

Kids of widows and wealthy, successful divorcees do worse in the aftermath of their mother's death or parents' divorce. It's not just genetics, even controlled for ancestry, class, wealth, parental background in every respect, children of single mothers do worse. For single fathers it's a mixed bag, but data on children raised solely by a dad (let alone a widower) is very limited and in many of these cases (every single one I've heard of personally) there's a female relative who steps in quickly as a maternal figure, whether it's a grandmother or aunt or sister. Often she moves in or the kids move to her. The same isn't necessarily true for father figures for kids who lose (or never have) a dad. Kids being raised without at least one central female figure in their childhood is highly uncommon.

... I mean, divorces don't come out of nowhere. There's usually something wrong with either parent that it happens.

The true test would be finding a country with a lot of widowed parents and looking at outcomes of their children.

It's not just genetics, even controlled for ancestry, class, wealth, parental background in every respect, children of single mothers do worse

Do you remember what paper found that ?

Yeah, it seems to be quite a bit easier for widowers to remarry, and they are more motivated to remarry than widows. My best friend and I both lost our mothers when we were young and our dads quickly remarried—I think because they wanted someone to take care of the kids. I'd be surprised if single fathers are even really a thing.

I've long believed that women find it easier to transfer maternal instinct to non-biological children than men find it to transfer paternal instinct to them (although it's certainly possible in both cases). My just-so evopsych explanation is that women traditionally looked after children collectively whereas men taking more of an active role in child-rearing from a young age is more recent and largely coincides with the slow emergence of the nuclear family. I also think older men have less experience keeping a home, and so often face social pressure (from siblings, children, even friends) to remarry so they can keep their lives together and don't have to rely so much on family.