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Wellness Wednesday for September 14, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I have the habit of attributing everything good about me to circumstances, luck or genetics but every failure it's my fault, my lack of dedication and my weakness. My unscientific hypothesis is that I don't trust my future self: it will disappoint me and will never be as good as my past self because the latter has not earned anything by himself but only by happenstance and will not be able to replicate this motions in the future. This lack of respect for the future self becomes lack of respect for my present self, because it is him who will become the deluding future self.

I would like to know how to respect myself more in the present but I don't even know what I would respect in my future self, I've never really had a role model or very engaged parents so I'm trying to navigate the world without a map or a compass. This lostness makes me want to puke; whenever I think of the future I see... nothing: not a desire, not an ideal life, not a dream come true, just an oppressive black.

Sigh, rant over, I suppose. I don't really know how to ask for help anymore, I just wish everything, or even anything, would start to make sense.

Why do you care about what/who's fault it is? You have goals -- accomplish them or don't.