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PaperclipPerfector  7mo ago (text post)   1890 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 1, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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Okay, I'm in a tricky spot.

I made a group for a niche'ish hobby and got like 20+ members. However, I wanted the group to actually not die and serve as a place to socialize so I made sure the m:f ratio was no worse than 60:40. (Simply don't let all the guys in, dick move I know.)

Anyway, had the first meetup. Everyone was "okay" other than this 1 guy. This guy gave me the heeby jeebies. Had 0 charisma, made the lamest jokes, and just ruined the vibes all around (oh he also keeps on flirting with all the females, and fails at it really badly). I'm not being judgemental or biased here, he looks normal physically, but his personality is just off.

Now I get it, you make a group for randoms to join, you will get oddballs. I mean they are joining random groups online for a reason. But seriously, fuck this guy, I don't want him in my group. He is a ticking time bomb. He brings down the average status of our group himself single-handedly.

I would just... kick him. But that might make me a pariah with the rest of the group who are not wise enough to see that this mf will literally make things marginally awkward enough over the long term that the entire enterprise dies.

What to do?

Since you are already cultivating the group I would just kick him. If he is going to ruin it anyway then kicking him early has no downsides, since you will either have no group (if people are upset) or a much better group in the future.

I suppose you could give him one more chance or speak to him privately about his behavior if you are feeling charitable. But it is usually better to cut your losses early.

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