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A week ago, in the context of a discussion on some NYT article, @2rafa commented that “there is an unstated (on the progressive side) premise among all people that casual sex is a bad deal for women and devalues or dishonors them in some way”. It generated a few replies but basically no further discussion, even though I’m sure it’s worthy of further discussion, and here’s why: as far as I’m aware, it’s certainly not the case that progressives had this attitude from the beginning of the Sexual Revolution, which is what the context is here. Obviously they used to have a different view in general, but sometime along the way, they changed their minds, because things turned sour, essentially.
Before continuing I think it’s important to qualify, as 2rafa also did, that other ideological groups also share this basic view, but the two main differences are that right-wingers tend to state this view openly, whereas progs are usually reluctant to do so, and that they do so on religious and moralistic grounds, whereas progs concentrate on women’s individual long-term interests, not on any other considerations.
So anyway, I said to myself: surely these people, being progressives, believe that the Sexual Revolution, while a laudable event, went haywire at some point, and didn’t bear the fruits it was supposed to. And I can tell that this is a relatively widespread view, because I can see it expressed in various online venues all the time, not just this forum.
What went wrong then? What did the Sexual Revolution basically promise to average progressive women, and why did that turn out to be a lie?
I’d argue that the more or less unstated promise of the Sexual Revolution to young single women was that: a) they will be sexually free without inviting social shame i.e. normalized sexual experimentation and promiscuity on their part will not have an unfavorable long-term effect on men’s attitudes towards them, and women will not sexually shame one another anymore b) they will be able to leave their constrictive gender roles to the extent they see fit, but this will not lead to social issues and anomie because men will be willing to fill those roles instead i.e. men will have no problem becoming stay-at-home dads, nurses, kindergarteners, doing housework etc.
And none of that turned out to be true.
Am I correct in this assessment?
I think I'm as progressive as anyone and I'm pretty confident I don't believe "that casual sex ... devalues or dishonors [women] in some way." I'm not sure I know any progressives that do believe that. Neither the linked comment nor yours provide any evidence that progressives do believe this so forgive me for being a little skeptical that it's true.
I mean, if you view (a) and (b) as binaries that society is either like or not then sure, we aren't there. But if you view (a) and (b) as spectra that societal norms can be closer to or farther from I think it would be pretty hard to argue we're not much closer to (a) and (b) today than we were pre-Sexual Revolution. Sure, maybe the Sexual Revolution (in the sense of particular events that occurred in the 1960's and 1970's) weren't enough to get us all the way there, but my perception is they started us down this path that we continue on towards those outcomes.
Everyone wants to think the promised revolution ending in utopia will happen in their lifetimes. Almost half of Christians polled by PEW back in 2013 thought Christ would return to Earth in the next 40 years. Naturally it's disappointing when you find out that the fruits of the promised revolution may not be happening while you would be alive to experience them.
I think it's less about the binary/spectrum binary and more about the possible/not possible binary. Placing (a) and (b) in a spectrum still presumes that a society in which (a) (I'll just use "(a)" from now on for brevity) achieved is possible. Or, more realistically, that a society in which we are close to (a) and therefore enjoy some of the fruits of (a) and do not suffer more pains than the fruits due to not quite being at (a), only close to it, is possible.
I suppose I recognize this is substantively a value judgement but I think our current being closer to (a) than we were historically has been clearly worth it.
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