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gog  6mo ago (text post)   1705 thread views

Advice for disagreeable people

I am disagreeable IRL. Like, everyone I get to know well eventually starts avoiding me. I can find lots of advice for how to deal with other disagreeable people, but not much for people who are themselves disagreeable. Surely some of you lot are the same. Have any of you overcome this? If so, how?

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I think the standard advice is "don't be disagreeable".

You might have to stop yourself and think before speaking in conversations. Before you disagree make sure of these three things:

  1. Do you really care? If its over something stupid, just drop it.
  2. Will disagreeing accomplish anything? If no, then you probably should stop caring about it.
  3. If I will accomplish something by disagreeing, will it be better than this person potentially not liking me temporarily?

You should also learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. Don't say "That fact is wrong, because I know counter-factual X to be true". Instead say "Huh, I didn't know that, I'd always heard counter-fact X".

Finally, stop hanging around other disagreeable people, it rubs off. If its your family, seek therapy, and possibly lessen contact.

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