Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I spoke to a friend earlier today. She could tell I was on the spectrum but found it hard to describe exactly what made it apparent to her. After talking a while, she said that I always paused before I said something, or before I smiled. It was probably that deliberateness that was a tell. She did make it clear that there was nothing I had done (or failed to do) that was offensive in any way, although I'm reasonably sure that there's proto-offensive shit that doesn't rise to the level of conscious thought and is difficult, but not impossible, to put into words. Ekman and his team might be able to do it.
I also don't think all that many people can put into words the things that I do or say that make people think I'm autistic, or that offend people. If I had to guess, maybe ten percent of psychiatrists or psychologists, and maybe one average person in a few hundred.
I still think that a true UMC gentleman - like aristocracy in ages past - has things that they are fundamentally willing to die over. Like, a lot of duels were fought over things like "honor". I'm well aware that there were plenty of off-ramps in the dueling process that allowed both participants to be satisfied gentlemen. In the case of pistol duels the duelists didn't always shoot straight, and dueling pistols weren't usually that accurate. Even so, quite a few promising young gentlemen met a premature end on the dueling ground.
As a Hockist: perhaps a decent ideal to strive for is better to die than do your utmost to be graceful. It seems fitting and proper for an awkward person to adopt this as an ideal...at least until he is no longer awkward. The Hock is an idiotic and meaningless way to prove that I've got a high level of grit and determination.
I'm also guessing that many of you would think that my view of the 'UMC gentleman' - or the 'petty aristocracy' he described of people with two college educated parents - is out of whack and some fever-dream cross between Japanese bushido and what we think Victorian-era gentlemanly conduct was. And that if pressed, maybe a couple of awkward UMC dudes in a hundred would go on the Hock even if they were guaranteed to not be awkward after.
What's your take?
I am a socially awkward person. I struggle to make sustained eye contact. I'm hopeless at talking to people I don't know (in bars, parties, clubs etc.), and have literally never gotten a girl into bed from a cold approach - about 95% of the women I've had sex with were through dating apps. Extended family gatherings are torture for me. I'm Irish, a race famed for our gift of the gab, and even other Irish people have complained to me for years that I speak too quickly to be easily understood. I have very few friends. I use alcohol as a crutch to overcome my social awkwardness, a strategy which has led to more than its fair share of embarrassments.
Have I thought about ending it all? The thought has crossed my mind from time to time.
Have I thought about ending it all specifically because I'm a socially awkward person? No, of course not, that's ridiculous.
Do I think spending several weeks in the middle of the Alaskan wasteland without talking to or interacting with another soul would do anything to improve my social awkwardness? Honestly, I think the question kind of answers itself. The cure for social awkwardness is to practise one's social skills, not to allow them to atrophy even further.
But I'm sure you're already writing up a big long screed about how the fact that your stupid hike won't cure you of your social awkwardness is actually the entire point and it's supposed to be stupid and pointless and narcissistic and self-absorbed because isn't the very idea of dating you stupid and pointless and etc.
I wish you'd just give it a rest and find something to talk about other than how sorry you feel for yourself. Or at the minimum if you're going to throw this big pity party so often, stop involving the rest of us in it.
He should be less concerned with his obsession of being totally undateable, and more concerned with how he is going to function as a medical doctor when he has such a one track delusional mind, autism and awkwardness, and ugliness to the point that no one can stand to look at him (so he claims). Though, he would be far from the first MD with horrendous bedside manner.
I am 20th percentile for physical appearance or so. Not deformed, but decidedly below average. As far as bedside manner: that is...okay. Not bad, although it used to be. It is possible that the attendings I've talked to are now simply blowing smoke up my autistic ass for some reason. I can't think of why they would do so now and wouldn't do so a year or two ago.
I really, really doubt this.
Last time I saw people ask him for pics to substantiate the claim, he changed it to "well, I guess it's more about being awkward".
I think I've always maintained that I am rather unattractive - just barely attractive enough to not experience desexualization, as the disability theorists define it. I've also said that my physical appearance does me no favors, but is not Quasimodo tier. There are a lot of ways to be unattractive, and it is not just physical appearance that does it. For me...if I had to pull some numbers out of my rear end, it's 2 or 3 parts awkwardness to 1 part physical appearance.
He did it again!
Except you said "I am 20th percentile for physical appearance or so". Pics or it didn't happen.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link