Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
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Notes -
Define "purely hedonistic". Define "ideal" (who, whom?).
If by pure hedonism you envision nothing but wireheading, what does it matter? It's not like the claims that women have stronger orgasms than men matters when neither compares to even a piddling dose of fentanyl.
At any rate it's whatever the equilibrium settles out to be. Presumably by "post-scarcity" you mean a very high tech society, not just one that's got enough food to eat, water to drink and houses for everyone.
If people can change biological sex at will, then the ratio means absolutely fuck-all.
If they have VR indistinguishable from reality, then it means less than nothing.
If they have AI, at a level even comparable to GPT-4, then whatever the other people in the pod next door have in their trousers doesn't matter, nor what they represent as in VR. You spin up as many catboys/girls/cat-???s as your heart and compute budget desires.
I would expect such a society to almost inevitably end up post-biological, and thus post-gender, unless strong and authoritarian policies were enacted against it. If I were to envision a weakly godlike Lotus Eater occupying a Matrioshka Brain, its pronouns are the least of my concerns.
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