The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Long term lurker looking for some Wednesday Wellness advice.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years a few weeks ago. The core reason was that I wanted to meet other people - she was my first and only relationship and while what we had was amazing in many ways, I couldn't shake the thought that I might be missing out on more. If I'm going to marry and have kids with someone I want to be damn sure that they're the right person, and I wasn't. I decided to throw away an incredibly stable and largely happy relationship for the chance of something even better. I felt that if I didn't I would live with regret, or just end up breaking up later down the road, which could be even worse. I'm worried this makes me seem selfish and naive.
I've never broken up or been broken up with (again, first relationship), but boy are they fucking hard! She moved out of my place and I don't see or talk with her any more, but I'm paradoxically still surrounded by her every day. I'll drive past restaurants we used to eat at, hear songs we used to listen to, see things in my house that remind me of her. I remind myself this is what I wanted, it's not like this new reality was thrust upon me without my consent, but it's sometimes hard to remember why I wanted it in the first place. I'm wondering if losing her was the only way to make me realize how much I needed her in my life.
Time heals all wounds and I know things will only get easier, but I haven't let go of her yet. And I'm not willing to let go quite yet either, which means things may get even harder before they get easier.
Just musings now, I'm continuing to think and reflect the next few weeks. Happy to answer any questions or take feedback/thoughts from folks.
You're a fucking idiot. I threw away my first love for the same reason, and regret it to this day.
Where you never able to find someone else to wholeheartedly love?
Yes. After six months, and meeting my parents, I said "I love you" on vacation on an island in the Great lakes, she did likewise. Then a month later she broke it off. It turned out she went back to her abusive ex husband, who laughed at me for saying "I love you" and called her trash to my face. Less than year later she left him again, but didn't tell me. Or communicate with me at all.
She left me in the fall of 2019, and then COVID happened.
My condolences, and best wishes.
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