The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I’ll just say, you may find that a serious relationship is the most intense crucible of your life to this point. Committing to someone and hoping to be with them for the rest of your life, or perhaps even start a family, is no joke. It should be taken seriously emotionally.
It sounds like you’re in the mindset that you shouldn’t be feeling weird about it, that you should stay as cool as a cucumber throughout the whole process. Unfortunately that’s just not how these things work, unless you’re a sociopath. Expect to have more emotions down the road if you continue with this lady, and get used to dealing with them. There are all sorts of tactics out there, personally I’d recommend prayer.
I forgot to mention it. Yes, prayer actually helps me a lot of thanks for reminding me, maybe there's something ominous in how I keep forgetting that.
Yes, I am finding this my most emotionally challenging time of my life. I don't intent to shop around, and I've told her as much. The goal is a lifelong bond and something I give utmost spiritual significance too. Other women will cease to exist.
Then why have sex which is causing these troubling issues at present? It seems to be you're not only putting the cart before the horse, but adding a ton of chaos and noise to a serious process. If you take the fun of sex off the table, you're going to spend more time, effort, and attention on the real transcendental parts of each other that must be present for a lifelong bond. It's pretty easy to eat your vegetables when you get a chocolate bar after every other bite.
If you (or her, or both) become less interested in each other because of a lack of sex, well, you've kind of a got an answer right there, don't you?
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Well you certainly have the right mindset towards a relationship, kudos to you.
In terms of ominous distractions from prayer, I’d say that’s a 100% certainty. Modern Western societies are essentially gigantic temples to gluttony, greed and other sins.
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