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Friday Fun Thread for January 26, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I got recruited and then quit one of the Ark official pvp megatribes last month.

The game runs like shit atm, it's never going to not suck for that type of gameplay, and if that tribe is any indication, over time (2015-2023) the average IQ of megatribe players went down by cca 10 pts. That they added pokéballs and made everything simpler didn't help. I mean to write a detailed review of the online pvp play given the hours I've spent on it. It was an interesting social experiment.

Palworld sounds intriguing conceptwise but is violently disgusting me aesthetically, and seeing how much Ark sucked to me because of bad programming, and how much it still sucks - bases spend minutes to fully load even now, the idea of playing something like Ark but written by even bigger amateurs is out of the question.

Programming wise I'd be leery to invest any time in it even if it had impeccable aesthetics and instead of using pokéballs to catch monsters the logistic gameplay loop involved firing nets to catch impossibly attractive waifus and putting them to work on the ammo production lines.

No experience with MP, I mostly play solo because I have no friends burned out completely on PVP, I lasted about 300hrs in Apex before uninstalling and haven't played a FPS since. For the same reasons I haven't tried Palworld MP, the game is a week old and the jank is all over the place, on release your guildmates could literally corrupt your MP savefile even if you were offline.

According to the roadmap PVP is a priority for devs once they squash all the major bugs, which, uh, doesn't fill me with confidence. I understand this is vital for the game's longevity but this (unreleased) thing sounds like a recipe for disaster and I dread to imagine the soulless metafaggotry which will immediately infest the Pokemon aspect of the game, I confidently predict the most meta pal will be Pengullet because it can be found very early on and its innate skill, available closer to midgame, launches him as a fuck-off nuke that obliterates everything in the blast radius (including the Pengullet). Not to mention the standard PVP survcrafting woes where the sole marker of your success in multiplayer is how little you sleep to amass resources 24/7 and sabotage opponents while they're offline. Here's hoping the game doesn't go the way of Fortnite StW and I can still enjoy an occasional update not aimed at PVP.

Besides, jank is good in moderation, so what if you can capture bosses via a glitch and their mons have like 10x the HP of a normal one? Look, it still has Zoe on its back! I can fix her put her to work!

instead of using pokéballs to catch monsters the logistic gameplay loop involved firing nets at catching impossibly attractive waifus and putting them to work on the ammo production lines.

You jest(?) but I legitimately hope this "genre" becomes a fad and takes off, there's definitely a lot of (evidently untapped) potential here.

The boss capture glitch should really become a legit feature, beat a giant lightning Totoro and get the girl as a bonus. The game already lets you capture humans so what's the holdup, worst case you can always sell her off to a shady smuggler or something.

Not to mention the standard PVP survcrafting woes where the sole marker of your success in multiplayer is how little you sleep to amass resources 24/7 and sabotage opponents while they're offline.

The trick there of course is to befriend people around the globe with the same problem so there's always someone online.

That's how people solved the problem in Ark. Once you were in a crew of ~30 and allied to a couple hundred group, you could rest easy knowing nobody but the biggest guys would invade you. And even if they logged into the server in mass and hogged all the slots, you could always crash the server to get in your own guys to even things out.

Devolved into days long siege battles. Not great, not terrible tbh.