The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Notes -
Does anyone have advice on how to get more comfortable with being alone for the foreseeable future?
I broke up with a long term girlfriend a while ago (lovely woman, didn't want kids.) I discovered the dating market had gotten horribly worse during the relationship and I no longer have a chance; I've also roughly aged out of the bracket who can reasonably get married. I am going to spend the next forty years or so single and alone. I have intellectually accepted this but I'm still having extremely strong emotional reactions, and I still feel awful by myself.
I tried to talk to a therapist but of course he
a) rainmade me, with no intention of getting me to the point where I won't need therapy. (The overwhelming majority of therapists have never considered the idea of patients getting better, because most people going to therapists just want to feel special, not get better.)
b) told me that I wasn't going to be alone and didn't need to deal with that long term.
I'm not sure what I should do to establish a way to be calm and happy by myself; I'm frustratingly extroverted and need people to talk to and be close with. Can I train myself out of this?
I'm not sure about the midlife dating market, but on the frustratingly extroverted side of things, I know people who have had a good experience with couch surfing, both visiting and hosting. One got married to someone from a local couch surfing meetup. I tried, and it was generally safe and fun, but I was personally insufficiently extroverted.
Yeah, that was pretty good around 2010 or so I hear, but collapsed a few years after.
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