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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   1736 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for March 13, 2024

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I've stopped using Hinge and can't bring myself to try again because every time I do, the same thing happens; I get a reasonable number of matches and likes, frankly more Likes than make sense. I'll have a short conversation, ask for a date, get a yes. Then the day of the date, she bails, sometimes with apologies, always without suggesting an alternate date. If I ask for another date, she says yes, next week rolls around and she bails the day of. This cycle continues until I take the hint and stop asking. I do not know how to get this to stop happening. I also don't get why I don't hear this complaint from other people; typically they complain about getting no matches or not hearing back after the first date.

I've considered completely cutting people off after the first flake. I've considered very tepidly expressing my disappointment at being flaked on. I've considered talking beforehand about how often I get flaked on and asking please please please if they don't want to turn up for a date, then just say that instead of saying yes and then flaking, because I find it way more painful than a "no." None of these strike me as good ideas.

And I live in fucking Chicago of all places.

Maybe send a brief message on the day-of saying "looking forward to meeting you tonight" or something?

I do this. It apparently serves as a reminder to them that they should cancel the date, since it's typically immediately after this that they cancel.

Beat them to the punch and send them a brief message on the day-of to cancel.

I'm joking of course but psychology and dating is so counterintuitive it would probably work.

Bummer.

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