The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
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What is the best way to access one's value in the dating market? I haven't been single for many years and my only real dating experience in the past decade is tinder. What is the best way to judge my realistic expectations in dating?
You will figure out your value fairly quickly if you make an effort to be objective. You will be able to judge by the quality of partners that you can attract for a second date (if using apps) or first date (if you met at an event). Set your expectations to that and you should be ok. Also stay away from Tinder. I've heard Hinge and Bumble are the apps to use in the West.
You can maximise your potential by working out, buying some well fitted (and not overtight) fashionable clothes (check out some fashion subreddits if necessary), and regularly socialising at mixed gender irl events. This single sentence covers about 80-90% of seduction theory on increasing your attractiveness.
A final word regarding apps. They can be soul crushing if you haven't had experience app dating. Matches will disappear for no apparent reason, or otherwise flake before dates. Try not to take this personally, and take breaks from app dating if you need to.
I find that meeting partners at irl singles or social events is much more productive. You get to show all facets of yourself and both of you can be more sure of what you are getting before you go on a first date. Your irl 'matches' are probably the best thing to calibrate your dating value expectations to.
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