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CertainlyWorse

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joined 2022 September 05 01:12:53 UTC 

				
User ID: 333


				
				
				

			

		

	














	


		


			



	

		

			

			

				

					

						

							
						

						

							
							

								
CertainlyWorse


								

								

								
								
								

								
							
					
 
				


				
Dedicated Pessimist

				
				
				

				

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					joined 2022 September 05 01:12:53 UTC
				


				
					

					
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User ID: 333


					
					
					
				

			


					

						
					



		

	

 











			
			

			
			

			




	


		

			
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				Culture War Roundup for the week of August 28, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Could also have the redheaded stepchild of a /r/cwr weekly thread on the motte that allows low effort. On the bright side it would attract all the witches. On the downside it would drain effort from this thread.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of September 18, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I reject your framing. Your use of the FVEY acronym does not lend weight to your argument that because 'Well acktually, Five Eyes is just a SIGINT focused intelligence sharing apparatus', and because of this it does not imply other deep historical alliances based on shared cultural backgrounds and systems of government under the international rule of law.


You seem to be asking for an NATO article 5 or the like formal agreement signed by the US and the other partners, the absence of which implies that partners are under no expectation to intervene when their allies' territorial sovereignty has been violated. There is precedent that this has not been necessary in the past to provide support and retaliation when assassinations have been conducted against allied nation's citizens on their home soil.. Note the response of non-NATO members (such as Australia) in expelling diplomats in solidarity in the example.




What, beyond rhetoric, is Canada even asking for?




Various news articles have described that this discussion took place out of the public view. I presume Canada has asked for support in sanctioning India in some form, potentially expelling diplomats as occurred in the example above.


As for the rest of your post, I will concede that perhaps all of the Five Eyes partners decided together that they would not support Canada beyond toothless statements of concern and it wasn't the US doing so unilaterally with their outsized influence. It does not change my cynicism of the value of these alliances when partners have other interests.


Not that my cynicism was purely directed at the alliances themselves. It was also concerning the ability of Middle Power western nations to individually defend their sovereignty against the interests of their suzerain and the machinations of neutral/friendly contemptuous powers. Not doing so will only encourage future acts of interference.


Edit: a couple of words for clarity


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of August 14, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					


Mothers with young children heard me and glared.




Is this meant to be a 'men are idiots and bad parents' thing? Why wouldn't the mothers be on side?


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				USA Election Day 2022 Megathread
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Yeah can easily count the ballot boxes from democrat voting areas first and then whoopsie, no time to count ballot boxes from republican areas.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Israel-Gaza Megathread #2
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Yes "failed shooting" would technically cover the use of Iron Dome, but make it seem like a malfunctioning rocket in a Motte and Bailey.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of July 10, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I'm wondering if The Motte needs an additional 'low effort' /r/drama style culture bitching weekly thread with relaxed rules. Has this been considered?


<I may or may not be a /r/cwr poster>


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for April 3, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Thanks for this.




I think it damages the imagination and creativity




It's something I've found too. If you stim up (with caffeine say)... there is just thoughts/focus and no daydreaming (and less night dreaming for that matter). You've said it well.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Friday Fun Thread for March 22, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I've been playing Salt 2, which seems like a single player Sea of Thieves. Relaxing and pretty, but there isn't much crunch.


I've got to get back to finish Pacific Drive (I'm about 70% through the campaign), but I've kind of lost interest.


I did a replay of Dredge, which seems to have had a few tweaks since I last played; basically making resources you need to upgrade your ship much easier to find (I'm not sure how I feel about this). I still think its overpriced with only 10-12 hours worth of content.


I've also had a fun time following the Dragon's Dogma 2 controversy. AAA game with performance issues and surprise microtransactions (mtx) that were revealed only at release due to a review embargo, leading to review bombing. I'm kind of really against micro-transactions after major streamers CohhCarnage and Asmongold verbalised how it enshittifies games. The short version is mtx incentivises Devs deliberately making the game's Quality of Life worse so that the mtx can provide QoL relief. In other words, making a problem on purpose and then selling a solution.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Small-Scale Question Sunday for March 17, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					


as long as the small scale questions didn't consistently spin off into a length discussion of the topic here in this thread before a big post was made.




That's what I'm worried about. A request thread would mean to draw attention to developments, but not stunt discussion in the way the Bare Link Depository did. I think maybe you would be able to post items, but not discuss them here. If you wanted to discuss them, someone would need to main thread them.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Small-Scale Question Sunday for March 3, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Yeah. Not just romantic partners; basically any life choice.


Moving somewhere else, taking a crazy job, dropping out of college/uni. Pick your poison.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Small-Scale Question Sunday for February 18, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I don't have much to add to speculation about cultural inoculation against drug use. I will link to some on the ground reporting about the opioid crisis in the Deep South.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for February 14, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Life circumstances (not everyone can take afternoons off) and reciprocity permitting, this seems reasonable. I still think it should be able to be discussed before the event and if there are issues they should be raised then.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for February 14, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I would keep pushing yourself within the bounds of your tolerance.


I used to be like you until I took an arrow in the knee eventually became less socially anxious over the course of about 5 years. I spent a lot of time deliberately going out for social interaction though. Now I help host my friend's meetup when I'm there helping others who are shy to fit in with the group.


There isn't really a shortcut to getting over social anxiety. The fast chemical route is a crutch (even though I used A LOT of alcohol over the years to tolerate uncomfortable environments). All the training in the world won't help with introversion though. I can't make myself want to stay in high stimulation environments to this day.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for February 14, 2024
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I think you're in the right. You pre-discussed valentine's day and 'did it' on the Saturday. Then she wanted it again on the Wednesday in spite of your earlier agreement and got upset when you didn't do it twice. You're somehow in the wrong because you should have known that any deals about valentines day are completely void because of how important it is to her. I don't know how taking her to dinner and a symphony of all things is half assing it.


I applaud you for talking it out and fixing it, but I think your wife has been immature and this sort of thing is likely to happen again unless she works on herself. I kind of get it because my long time girlfriend will negotiate doing something for her birthday on the weekend before it happens because we have more free time. Then she will 'spontaneously' want to do something on her weekday birthday evening even though I'm tired from work. Then she will try triple dipping and ask to do something on the Friday night post birthday because we couldn't do 'enough' on her birthday. I was lucky that when I calmly talked her through what had happened and said 'its enough, we've already done all this stuff so you can't have a "Birthday Week" where I'm at your beck and call' she pulled her head in. I think this is because she knows I'm not a doormat and that I'm willing to weather emotional storms. Ironically because I'm willing to endure fights, they don't happen and we manage to talk things out before they ever get that far.


Its this last part that's important. While its ideal to 'never go to bed angry' and resolve fights on the day they happen, I think its more important to show your partner that you can set proper boundaries when you are actually in the right. If she can't help feeling upset and self regulate, well that's something you need to learn to tolerate until she finally gets over it. Be willing to extend an olive branch, but don't apologize. If you can't self regulate and push through when your wife is unhappy with you (even though she is in the wrong), well I'd say try to work on that.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for November 15, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Looking at other Urticaria, once you get past antihistimines and phototherapy, I've seen some suggested treatments as biologic omalizumab, steroid medications, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (!?).


I'm not a medical practitioner at all, but the allergy to warm water seems like something that's pretty pertinent in figuring this out. Your skin is hypersensitive and the root cause of that hypersensitivity is possibly linked to your acne.


I had stress related psoriasis once that went away after dealing with the underlying cause. Is there a possibility that the sensitivity is psychosomatic (in other words linked to stress or other mental health issues)?


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for November 8, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
40's isn't too late for a full career change. I met a guy at a meditation retreat once who went from being a tier one lawyer to a school teacher (and ended up fast tracking to principal). He was very happy with his decision even though he lost a chunk of his income, as he felt his old job was soulless.


Consider going to a proper career psychologist to help you figure out what you have an interest and aptitude in. You've probably got 20+ years of working left so its worth paying a few thousand if necessary for the happiness of working in a role that best suits you.


Also check if you have an Employee Assistance Program at your current workplace for free counseling along those lines (they're confidential).


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for November 1, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Boxer briefs are the MVP of underwear as far as I'm concerned. I think back to the bunching up boxers I wore in my teens with no small amount of wincing.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for November 1, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					


I've dealt with clinical depression most of my life, and the weirdest thing to explain to other people is that it seems worse when I should be happy. Its when something terrible happens that it almost fits better.




Yeah, I've been through periods of acute depression in my life. I can see how you would have people around in the depths of grief, but for you it was Tuesday.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of October 23, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Link doesn't work, but that sounds like fun.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for September 13, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Pressure cookers are amazing for fire and forget cooking. You just dump the ingredients in, turn it on and walk away. Even if you aren't in the market for one now I would keep it in mind for the future. I get what you mean about kitchen gadgets though, but I've gotten so much use out of mine over the years I couldn't live without one.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for September 13, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I didn't see the above comment before it was deleted, but I will say that I've seen bartenders treat their customers with undeserved contempt before.


Recently I holidayed in a different city in my home country and between social engagements with family and friends I had a lot of free time on my hands. I spent a couple of hours on a weekday afternoon alone at an Irish bar near my hotel. I drank 3 pints of lager and had a good time browsing my phone and texting friends out in the beer garden. I was unfailingly polite in our interactions, but the bartender on duty seemed very contemptuous that I was day drinking alone. To be fair there were obviously long term barflys hanging around the pub by themselves so I guess I pattern matched to that.


The city I traveled to is notorious for it's isolationism and bad service though, so maybe it was all in my head.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for September 13, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I've dived in the past (open water license only) and sharks were the #1 reason I didn't do it more. I have seen sharks in Thailand when I learned and its probably tempered my desire to go back into the water. You're just so helpless against them and as an amateur you don't really have access to anti-shark equipment.


Diving is an amazing sport as an introvert though. There is true peace down there beneath the waves.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for September 6, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I only have a couple of things to add.


Memories don't have to be 'traumatic' to have a strong emotional charge or be something that you wish to avoid remembering. Breakups with a loved ex-partner are an example of this. The process of diving into those avoided memories is roughly the same whether traumatic or not.


Same as above, EMDR is a way to reduce the emotional charge on all sorts of memories, not just traumatic ones.


Which ever way you go about this, I wish you well. Processing old memories is a good path to personal growth and self-actualisation.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for August 30, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
INTP yeah. Big ability to decouple, but able to accept multiple points of views (especially compared to intj friends, who I respect but are very abrasive). I'm moving more towards J the older I get though, which makes sense to me. Less time for bullshit really.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for August 30, 2023
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
The 'You know what, we've been unhealthy lately. Let's get to the gym together' can work well without directly referencing weight. Or self-directed 'I've been putting weight on and need to do something about it. I'm going to the gym/activity, do you want to come?'


Anytime weight is raised as a subject, acknowledge it, however briefly. This builds tolerance to the idea of talking about weight without the world ending. I'm past my 20's and I don't have an issue with talking about weight gain in a non-accusatory way with partners.