Skulldrinker
No bio...
User ID: 1874
No groveling apology will be forthcoming. Allow me a therapeutic hypothetical rant.
I. Liked. You. Emphasis on the past tense, but I genuinely liked you and thought you might like me. Then again, I'm bad at reading social cues, what with being a sperg and all. You did put that together, right? I had you pinged immediately, didn't need you to announce your label. I thought you might understand me, but I guess I'm just a straight male to you. Speaking of, if you don't want straight guys chasing after you, don't fucking call them pretty while they're gazing at you like a concussed puppy. We've both had to put effort into learning the social shit that comes naturally to everyone else, don't tell me you haven't figured out by now that when you pay too much attention to dudes, they get silly ideas. You might be able to live in a leftist queer neurodivergent hugbox, but some of us have to make our way in normieland. So much for 'all us freaks have is each other.'
I wasn't molesting you while you were blackout drunk. We were having a lucid discussion about Tieflings in various editions of D&D, Fullmetal Alchemist deep lore, your siblings, your involvement with Occupy Wall Street, and cheesy noir tropes. I don't know of any rule that you're not allowed to make out with people on their birthday, you don't get to make up imaginary rules when we both barely have a handle on the real ones.
You're not okay with me? I'm not okay with you. I've had "pretty people don't light their own cigarettes" echoing around in my head ever since. That night was the closest I've felt to anyone in five fucking years. I ruined your birthday? You stepped on my heart and scolded me for getting your shoes dirty. And now you're throwing around scary phrases like sexual assault? And pretending I haven't already apologized? Check your text message history, it's right there, I have receipts.
You want an in-person apology? Here it is: I'm sorry I spoke to you in the first place. I'm sorry I turned up to the birthday outing you publicly advertised. I'm sorry I gave you an effortful, thoughtful gift to try to get your attention. I'm sorry I kissed you, I'm sorry I kissed you again. I'm sorry I offered you a ride home, I'm sorry we held hands while walking down the street, I'm sorry I touched your hair in the car, I'm sorry I kissed you after dropping you off safely at home and saying goodbye. And I'm sorry I tried to politely wish you well in passing a year later after I thought we'd already settled the matter.
Skulldrinker
28d ago
She's not really part of my social circle, she just goes to the same pub my RPG club meets at. She vaguely knows one person I know, and I definitionally don't want to fuck any woman in her social circle.
Skulldrinker
28d ago
Well, it happened. I've been frivolously accused of sexual assault.
Context: https://www.themotte.org/post/1092/wellness-wednesday-for-july-24-2024/234218?context=8#context
TLDR: I had a crush on an actual neurodivergent nerd girl in her early 30s, concocted a grand romantic gesture, had what I thought was a great evening with her where we kissed a few times. Then the next day she's coldly unhappy with me
Hey I'm gonna be real with you, I'm really not happy after you made out with me while I was drunk, that really upset me and it's not how I wanted my birthday to go
I apologize via text but hear nothing back from her. She hasn't seemed particularly drunk, and had lots of opportunity to ditch me.
There's a part 2 to this story,
I run into her again a few weeks later (this is 2024) and she gives me a big ole body hug and invites me to hang out, making me internally panic. There's other people around so I can't really have a frank conversation with her. At the end of the evening, I ask her if she'd like to get dinner sometime, so we can talk in private and I can hash out exactly how she feels about me. She reacts poorly.
Via text she accuses me of acting weird. My attraction to her is waning. Some choice quotes: "I'm so tired of straight guys assuming I'm not asexual, anyways I already have a crush." Never mind her "pretty people dont light their own cigarettes" line, asexual people apparently flirt pretty openly when they've had any amount of alcohol.
We have a pleasant-enough text conversation that firmly makes me dislike her, or rather dislike how leftist queer neurodivergent activist asexual feminism has taken someone I could have liked and made them a shitty person. I leave things at that, the matter has been settled.
This was a year ago. Recently, I run into her at the pub in question, with some of my friends. I give her a cordial hello, find out she's going back to school for political science (read: a degree in activism). I liked her more when she talked about Hellboy and her Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction. She says something odd about seeing a mutual friend mention me on Facebook recently and it confusing her. I say "I'm glad you're doing well" and take my leave.
The next day I get this banger, which is really the star of this entire post.
>Hey I didn't get to say this because we were surrounded by people but you've never apologized for sexually assaulting me on my birthday last year and I would appreciate an apology as that ruined my birthday and has made me feel not okay about you ever since
I already apologized to her way back at the beginning of all this. I considered replying with a terse apology, a reminder I had previously apologized, and a promise to never acknowledge her again, because I don't feel okay about her either. Instead, I blocked her on everything and will ignore her going forwards. This isnt a good-faith interaction, this is a person either fucking with me, or of questionable sanity. I'm not going to feed the beast.
She could actually fuck up my social life quite a bit if she wanted to, that bar is VERY important to me; most of my non-roommate friends in the city were met through that RPG club and the surrounding social context.
No further encounters after two weeks. Still feels weird to be walking around with an accusation of sexual assault upon me.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
I'm more trying to make a point that stories about women/by women have been written that can be enjoyed by humans of whatever gender, this isn't utterly uncharted territory where artists have to build everything from scratch.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
To be fair kids don't really play with toys at all anymore, they do the Roblox on their Kindles and watch 20something Influencers
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
Only sometimes?
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
I'm asking for stories that are identifiably girl stories but also follow basic storytelling rules rather than expressing the basest cringe urges of women (and then the vampire bad boy and the werewolf bad boy fight over me while I sit there and wait to be taken by the winner, and the vampire wins, but the werewolf is okay because he finds someone else, then the vampire marries me) or being girl-power pandering. I'm talking "man goes up tree, people throw rocks at him, man comes down from the tree, Changed" level rules.
I know they exist, writers who can write them exist, and yet Disney can't find them. Instead it's "girl goes up tree, is stunning and brave, rocks bounce off of her, men are such trash amirite, the end."
What are some examples of "girl" stories that aren't cringe pandering softcore-relationship-porn wish fulfillment only (lame) women find appealing?
That isn't a leading question, it's an honest one, I'm sure they exist. But the people who write those don't get jobs at Disney. A lot of these girl stories seem to be made completely independent of everything that's been learned about basic storytelling structure, like they've been made up from scratch instead of being built on a foundation of previous works.
I Think the only woman author I've read extensively is the Dragonriders of Pern books by Anne McCaffrey, which was back in high school. While I remember those having female protagonists, they did heavily feature men, many of whom were genuinely loved by the author and characters in-universe (the master harper), for being men. There was the full spectrum of heroes and villains of whatever gender. I suppose some of the male characters had realistically male flaws that stuff written for dudes would normally leave out, almost like the author had, you know, known men in real life. But in McCaffrey is very obviously some kind of spergy horse girl, and wasn't writing to be in line with 2020s corporate intersectional feminism.
Oh and Harry Potter. Those are at least competently written, and are generally appealing to everyone without pandering to one gender or another.
My experience (of hearing women complain IRL), the emphasis is fearing men will assault them, not lie to or manipulate them.
I once had the misfortune of watching a woman at a bar loudly shitting on male hinge profiles, while surrounded by men who kept trying to engage with her socially. This was in the context of after a 5e RPG night at said bar. One guy asked her if she's ever been on a Hinge date and she said "chuh, no, I don't want to get Assaulted" while not looking at him. Then another of the guys around her mentioned being gay and she suddenly put down her phone and started staring at him lovingly.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
What's currently the most cost-effective and practical method of getting ahold of Ozempic/whatever weight-loss drug in the US without a diabetes diagnosis?
Also, is it worth messing with oral delivery, or are they flat-out less effective than the injection method?
I'm tired of people lying to me that I'm not fat when I observe the differences in the way the world treats me vs other people every day.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
What's currently the most cost-effective and practical method of getting ahold of Ozempic/whatever weight-loss drug in the US without a diabetes diagnosis?
Also, is it worth messing with oral delivery, or are they flat-out less effective than the injection method?
I'm tired of people lying to me that I'm not fat when I observe the differences in the way the world treats me vs other people every day.
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
You do realize you're watching curated propaganda designed to outrage and pull heartstrings, right?
Skulldrinker
1mo ago
I thought Gaza has been continuously starving for 40+ years. I was told this, anyways. Despite the massive population growth.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
I mean more long-game. I suppose my view of Palestine is colored by my run-ins with it's propaganda and activist-industrial complex.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
Isnt the Hamas plan to let their citizens get killed by Israelis while they run a propaganda campaign that gets Western leftists to send them money so their leadership can live cushy lives in Dubai and London?
I call this "Men, amirite?" It certainly turns up among the leftists and liberal women I have the unfortunance to interact with.
The attitudes don't get passed down by mothers and grandmothers, though, they get picked up from blogs and influencers and ticktocks and reddit and wherever else it is that women get their programming from.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
I had to stop reading Stross too, quality fell off.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
The bulletproof suit enables lazy writing.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
The person in question is kinda dumb in addition to being a leftist.
Women seem to want to use the precious space in their Hinge profiles to mention they like tacos and how much they think Black Lives Matter. I also see lots of "you better also be an anti-capitalist leftist socialist" stuff.
I'm sure IRL they manage to ignore or not notice the lack of frothing leftism in potential partners, but on Hinge they're very much into superficial ideological compliance.
I personally hate how much of peoples' personalities have been eaten by politics. I also find that the more rabidly leftist a woman is, the more likely she is to treat me like garbage.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
A random person in real life described Sinners glowingly then talked about how it was about how evil white people are. Im disinterested watching it now, I'd rather see Near Dark again.
I get the same thing from Jordan Peele films.
These films are for white people who for aesthetic reasons want to see black people. The Peele stuff in particular gets a lot of mileage out of showing black people in peril to distress white liberals without actually hurting a Black Body.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
D&D isn't weird anymore. I see tons of women's profiles mention D&D, and my photo of me at my weekly bar game with mixed genders gets me absolutely nowhere.
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
I encounter a very specific problem in the messaging stage where I'll ask someone out, they'll say yes, then ghost the day of the date. This happens more often than dates actually happen.
A few years ago, they'd cancel and reschedule repeatedly until I got the hint and stopped bothering them. Now they just ghost.
Speaking of, a few years ago, I actually got matches and occasionally received likes from women who were attractive enough. Now I live in an empty soul-crushing hell, despite having lost weight and gained muscle since then.
Depressed quibbles: How is stand-up an ick? multiple times in IRL conversations, women will out of nowhere ask me if I'm a comedian (I always say "no, I'm just like this"). I've done an open-mic set once or twice and killed it, it's something I keep on trying to get myself to do again, now apparently it's an ick? "Oh, only once? You should do it more, you're so funny." I guess I was right to not believe her.
Also, bartending? I thought the entire point of being a bartender is to get laid?
Skulldrinker
2mo ago
A lot of anime. It overlaps with "humans don't deserve to exist" quite a bit.
She didn't say "all us freaks have as each other," that's a line from Hellboy, her favorite film, and also one of my favorites. I'm the one with the identity based around weirdness, which I assumed she also had. I intuited that line would have meaning for her, which is why I wrote it in the inside cover of the Hellboy trade paperback I gave her, which she noticed. The line isn't in the books, it's a very Del Toro sentiment. It's me expressing my sense of betrayal.
I actually do believe that she's neurodivergent, in addition to whatever other conditions she has. We can smell our own. I'm also an aimless adrift 30something.
She's not lonely. She's surrounded by cringe leftist queer activists, orbiters, and whatever a crush is, which I presume is the guy she bangs when she occasionally feels like it.
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