mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
Future apocalypse survivor
User ID: 3273
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
3mo ago
Congrats man, second marriage I've seen here, how'd you meet your wife, does she know about this place, do tell us what you can.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
I will be visting a city named prayag for this religious festival that happens once every 12 years (or 144 years but they say that every 12 years) called mahakumbh and I am already regretting all of it given the terrible hygiene, crowd and pajeet aura coming from that place, on one hand I am a Hindu, on the other hand, it does seem kinda odd given people pump sewage in the ganges in most cities inside of India. It has had millions of visitors, literally mllions and that scares me.
Have you guys had any vacations or visits to subpar third tier places that you went through with despite knowing early on that you are gonna regret it regardless?
P.S. I will tale a dip in the middle of the river via a boat but I am not too excited about it, sinking money in the tickets was stupid lol
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
I am not sure how good they are given the regulations around them. My family did get some bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling wine, not sure if I can suggest that in good faith to someone pregnant, for everyone else, it's fucking fantastic.
I wish you guys luck with the pregnancy!
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
For something like getting assessed for ADHD, it can take >2 years for an appointment, unless you go private
ADHD is not autism, it is still in some edge cases enough to fuck your life up, it fucked mine up and seeing a psychiatrist helped me set it right. 2 years is insane, I get mine the day of and pay 2 pounds.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Good work man, most people can't do pull ups. A guy on YouTube I was recommended here was K boges and had I simply stuck to his daily pull ups, push ups/dips and squat format, I'd look like a greek statue by 2 years tops. K boges is a guy you may find helpful. He recommends adding single leg split squats and some smaller muscle work but mostly just stuff you're doing.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
I was gonna tag you in the thread. It's nuts, I have a severe case of strep or throat infection of whatever any time I get a cold, so I never eat anything cold, avoid liquor, even then, I catch one any time I'm in a new city, how is the drug procurement in the UK compared to India for over the counter drugs.
A second gen brown dude there told me once that wait times were close to a year for psychiatrists in the UK. Kinda hard to believe but won't be surprised at all.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
How's American insurance complex so fucked up. India isn't good but you can get antibiotics after paying a decent enough doctor 4 dollars for your same day consultation.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Jamming to kanye since graduation is a good album and his twitter antics are a once in a lifetime weird bizarre internet meltdown. Jokes aside, it is spring here in Jaipur, the weather is warming up, polo season is gonna end soon, spring is awesome.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Cohabitation is a mistake no one should make, you did well for recognizing the problem and should go and meet other girls, the problem is now that if you have any residual feelings, she'll hurt you by bringing guys over and if you bring girls over, she'll want you back. Move out when you can and never, ever, even hint at being into her. Don't get physical, don't try to talk about the past with her.
Although being too aloof works quite on girls if you're not doing it as a front. I've never had a girlfriend, it's always sad to lose a connection, keep posting, don't dwell on the past and find new girls. You did well, staying with her when your heart isn't in it would have been way worse.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
General updates, productivity and maybe growing up
People here kinda knew me as a guy who would write paragraphs every week and get nothing done, I am not that guy anymore. I still have issues, I cannot perceive time like normal people, I can focus fairly well, and I have an elaborate alarm system where my phone and computer buzz every single hour reminding me of what to do. I cringe when I look back at who I was or how I was, and how much time I wasted which is why I try to never think of the past. There is nothing good there for me.
I hit diamond in Math Academy, their highest tier was emerald and that was 4 percent, this is 1 percent, they started it this week. Sunday is my off day, I watch polo with my dad on those days. I was about to not make it to diamond and cranked out about 3-4 hours of math to not miss getting promoted. Earlier, I would have simply not cared, not been competitive and found ways to justify inaction. Instead, I sat down and did it. This is not a feat, my baseline was just non-existent.
I still have trouble sleeping on time, I still have terrible adhd and all the bad habits and sub-habits I got from it but I have agency to make a difference. I was able to go beyond 40 hours of work in a week for the first time in my life. My friends think I am doing a good job, my dysfunctional family unanimously goes out of its way to be nice to me given they see me working. Perhaps I can respect myself now, a little bit at least for actually doing something, doing something hard.
I was unable to meet my goals for this week because some stuff happened, though I still get better each day. Besides myself, my family, and friends, I hope that my updates give you some positivity too. There is progress in my life, non-trivial and in the correct direction. There is a lot of ground to be covered from here, I have to do a lot lot more programming-wise, get to at least stats on math academy, gain 20lbs, and meditate more. As long as I do my best, it will happen.
On a side note, I have completely cut contact with my ex-co-founder, my opinion of him is really low at this point, I hate logging on twitter, checking reddit or anything internet. Themotte is different, though I apologise if I don't participate much, I just have been a little busy. Life is better this way, I logged out and went back on twitter after a week and it all felt the same.
RSD Tyler's book The Blueprint opened with this line "Do you ever feel like you could change?" most people never do, but quite a few have and can. The satisfaction I get from working till my head hurts and seeing tangible progress in how much more focused I am from all the meditation, the code I have written, and topics in math. I was told by this user named standard_order here to chase sun and steel, in his words, satisfaction from real life, all of it sounds cliched, but it feels great. I don't look back at any point in the past with fondness, which is what my default was, I guess I am finally growing up.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Past decade - MDE world peace
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Appreciate it man. Following the advice my mom gave helped, I ofc got it reinforced and then forced down my throat via my counselor, who sits in the psychairtrists clinic. Sleeping on time, being mindful during all waking moments, especially when I meditate, when I work, having alarms in my laptop that are synced with my pc, having co-working meetings with my much more talented and extremely serious friends where my screen and face are visible at all times.
Simple advice works it seems.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Sunk cost + neediness, in ops case sunk cost + proximity. Always default to "good" pua wisdom, not roosh but more like yareally, rsd. I was known as the oneitis guy here back in the day. It's a terrible situation if you are in it, the only way out is fixing your internal issues and having better cuter girls around.
Julien postulated that having a girl around adds meaning to your drab life, it is a way the brain can make existence meaningful. Kids get it for girls they have never spoken to.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Good work! you are doing well, I hope you find a good wide soon. Great update regardless, take care.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
General updates -
I can now work for 9 hours without any noticeable fatigue and more than that my daily routine is more fine-tuned. On a good day, I wake up early, hit the gym, meditate, do math for 3 hours, code 4 hours, rehab my shoulder, meditate again and then write some more code. My only issue so far has been discipline at times of sleeping and family problems.
Some personal woes
The bad parts - My family has had a ton of these fake court cases and the one on our house will get a decision this feb on the 28th from the high court. We should win but I am simply only assuming that the worst will happen, we will lose the ancestral home we were born in to far-flung unknown illegitimate relatives since I do not trust the courts, I do not trust India, the people, or the institutions. On top of that, my dad booked tickets for us for mahakumbh which is an event in Prayagraj. It attracted 100 million visitors alone as this is supposed to be something that happens once in 144 years. Well, the most auspicious day was mauni amavasya which happened two days and people got killed in a stampede.
My grandad threw a fit on this and that wrecked my entire day work-wise. He believes that we all will die or at least one of us will and his house will go to his "enemies". I cannot share any of this publicly or even with friends, not after my startup larp where my ex co-founder burned all my social capital after doxxing my friends for no reason. How do I cope in case something actually bad happens, I do not want it to but I want to be prepared at the very least. My family has been embroiled in legal battles since the 50s, they spend most of what they earn on legal fee. We had a miserable time and it did play a part in my family being dysfunctional.
As I started my sabbatical and after going to thailand, I feel more adult and I cant help but feel I am responsible for both these things. Maybe I should not have asked my dad to consider mahakumbh. He was planning to buy himself a new laptop but spent that money on flight tickets, he told my ma in passing that he did it because I would have gone there had I been earning, hearing that breaks my heart. We visit on the 23rd, the flights are non refundable but we may cancel if things get worse, they should not but just in case.
Something wholesome to end my update
I got dms from a friend after he saw my name at the top of the list in Math Academy in a tweet the guy running it put out I joked about this being the first time since 2019 I got used for educational adverstiign materials lol. Those who have been reading my updates can probably spot it. I am back to lifting similar weights that I stopped at when I hurt my shoulder, I can meditate longer. Beyond that the meds, a routine, deliberate effort make studying things easier, more productive. By next I want to sustain a higher output and link projects from my github, hopefully have the court cases go well too. I did not want to mention it, no one likes reading sad things. Being somewhat better, progressing helps me to respect myself, not a lot but more than I did before. I never thought I would and that is quite uplifting, maybe things do get better.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
This was my favorite comment lol. Oneitis, not even once!
If for some reason you fear you’ll later feel some FOMO or one-itis, keep in mind you can at any moment book a flight to her home SEA country and date and bang chicks a decade or two younger than her, after which you’d hardly feel she were so unique, special, or essential anymore
Yeah lol, SEA is the easiest place in the world to get laid if you are a white or off white. I had married women come up randomly, grind against me in raves whilst their husbands watched and no these were not sex workers. I never slept with one since I do not like asian girls but the stereotypes are true.
So fertility issues, a dead bedroom, loss of attraction, that is three strikes that are dealbreakers.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
The biggest straight-up flaw I have is insecurity.
Meditating, contemplation practise of any kind done over time helped me feel slightly better. Being insecure and judgemental as a guy severely neuters your odds of dating a really hot girl. A mans internals, his status are like a womans look, they make up a big chunk of your attractiveness. You are totally correct to have whatever beliefs you have. A lot of your arguments or bad dates would resolve themselves by
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Actively fixing your insecurities. For me, I am unskilled, broke, living in my backward fucking nation and skinny. So I have been trying to do my sabbatical properly, meditate and workout regularly.
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Do not take women seriously when they do argue. As you date and sleep with more, you would naturally come to not care about it as much since many times they can be quite unreasonable if they can hint insecurity issues, look up "shit tests". If a girl is catholic, debating with religion is worse than just saying that you are agnostic.
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Dating more girls. This solves most issues and is one everyone wants to ignore. The more girls you sleep with and the sooner you do, the easier the entire thing becomes. You become less insecure and figure out a lot of standards you should have you may be unaware otherwise. I got burned fairly hard when I started because I had no standards and was willing to sleep with anyone which counter intuitively nuked my chances. People who have the ability to socialise well, have standards up thier chances by a lot.
I also am quite judgmental
This is terrible for dating, you should not be judgemental at first. Communication between men and women is not verbal, it is mostly non verbal. You cannot be judgemental towards a girl until you spend some time. Just because you are having fun does not mean that you approve of that person in totlaity.
pretty strict about sleep and exercise
This is a good thing, you are not living life in a state of trance and abide by your own princicples strongly. You should be mentally prepared to reduce your time spent running or other activities by a little and adjust your sleep schedule if you want to date for a bit.
I'm also pretty irreverent to authority/ to any particular "team"
This is not a flaw since if you were a diehard adherent to xyz then it would not look good if you were a low level adherent. Though you would eventually need to find a team in general since cooperation is the most important things humans engage in. Truth is a terrible schelling point, in that way I am in the same boat as you.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Try to get a social circle going, mostly girls who party, that way you would be able to meet far more girls and have more friends who will set you up. This is what I would do too, dating apps are terrible, guys usually get girls who look worse than them. Attractive women, even non alcoholic ones visit watering holes, it will take some time out of your life for a year or two but you would not regret it.
Break up asap dude, you continuing to hook up with a girl who you do not wish to date long term is where you messed up imo. Just break up and find another girl, you should be enthusiastic about girls you date seriously, do not let laziness determine your youth dating-wise.
Also, try hooking up with a few girls hotter than her, you would be alright, it is crass but is sane advice because it works for most.
Edit - you have not had sex in a year, have a oneitis, don't find her attractive, looming fertility issues. These are the biggest dealbreakers known to man. Dump her asap man. I cannot imagine having a girl and not having sex with her and only stopping due to time constraints. Good of you for posting this here, the feedback will help.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
It's legit, it even got someone like me hooked
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
4mo ago
Sounds very french house heavy in a good way.
Quite a bit given I spent a fifth of my life here and documented it publicly.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
5mo ago
These are not good optics on his part, it works because he is seen as a well-meaning dorky guy who likes jews so cannot be bunched with ss sympathisers but it did make me chuckle. When you are rich, famous and powerful, they let you (Roman salute) and get away with it - Trump pfp anons today. Other jokes too
Though Naval Ravikant of all people had a good response. The world war 2 happened close to 80 years ago, we cannot wholesale let all the things the ss co-opted stay untouchable forever. White nationalists, the kind most dont wish to associate with due to their tendencies to wish to play into the evil stereotypical trope make this kinda hard.
Plenty of Norse symbols mean well, holy symbols and they get co-opted for low-brow culture war that exists either online or in the lower rungs of society. I am not against identitarian beliefs, every people have a right to wish for what they want, having people who act out badly using these symbols sours them. Elon is a high-status competent man, even if you believe that he is just a front who is a deadbeat dad, drug addict midwit which he clearly is not but even if he literally is all those things, he still did extremely well in life and is super high status for everyone. Him doing a roman salute works partly because of that. The ADL clarified that Elon did not mean it, all the folks of the Jewish faith who are not lefty did the same because he likely did not mean it.
Symbols, images, gestures, vernacular, and rituals make up a big part of any cooperative movement, whether a formalised real religion like Hinduism, where you remove your footwear, bow to the divine deities, and thank them for letting you experience life, or online, where people use terms like "based," "redpilled," and "chad." A decoupling of the Roman salute, the word Aryan, and other things from the time is a good step in that direction. My take on this is a little different, I grew up around extremely online cultures or at least saw them unfold. This seems like a step in a good direction to me.
Any identitarian movement is conflated with you trying to establish the third reich no matter where you are if you are not a bio leninist. Maybe this is a break where people can stop being burdened by the ghost of the second world war.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
5mo ago
and that warrior elites are generally unsympathetic to nerds and Jews.
I come from the only place where this system existed overtly, the warrior always needs a good priest to jutify and give mandate of heaven. Chandragupta Maurya happened due to Kautilya. Yarvin is a mischling.
They have an unreal tournament episode too which I wish to watch as the game got axed from its pre alpha. Unreal Tournament 2003(?) was the first arena shooter I played, 6 year old me was amazed by it, I need to play unreal tournament 3 now that I think of it.
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