non_radical_centrist
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User ID: 1327
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I've never been a fan of condemning someone's solution without offering your own alternative.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Why can't we? For the entirety of human history aged out hookers were likely to be STD ridden and have low human capital, that's no longer true.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
It seems like eventually the college girls would learn to say things like "I want a romantic relationship, not a one night stand" and hold out against the "why's" with their experiences of disappointment?
That does happen, but is also impeded by men putting a lot of effort into deceiving women they want more than hook ups, then not doing hook ups. And some women also being horny enough at times to go along with it even if they regret it later.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I'm not at all convinced that that "pair bonding" is a super significant phenomenon. I think it's quite likely that instead those stats reflect that women who want varied sex will have multiple partners before marriage, and then will also desire varied partners after getting married, leading to her divorcing or leading to her cheating which leads to divorcing. Especially since a lot of women who don't have sex before marriage come from cultures where divorce is socially unacceptable.
What would be more convincing is instead of stats about divorce, since that's distorted by women who're socially unable to divorce even if they'd want to, is stats on how much women who haven't had previous partners like their spouse.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Generally matches my experience too. Also I don't think I've encountered any women who have gone "oh no I've never done this tee hee", they were all pretty up front with their experience if the conversation went there, or did genuinely have little experience. Although it's not impossible I was taken in by excellent liars, I doubt it.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I mean, apart from the likely impossibility of trying to change society as a whole?
I think we've come a hell of a lot closer to making porn not a black mark today than 50 years ago, I don't see why it should be impossible.
Just emptiness and depression
How does a law firm choosing to hire her without considering her Only Fans a black mark, and no judges or clients or juries holding it against her either, lead to emptiness and depression?
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Why does purity have value? If you think it has an intrinsic value, why? If you think it only has value because it deeply shapes impressionable young women, then I think that's the exact argument the author makes.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Sure. I don't disagree. But the women should still stop sleeping with those men if the women can predict they'll regret it, which they should often be able to.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I'd agree with most of what you've said. But ultimately I think a better equilibrium is achievable than a Christian purity culture, although I probably couldn't convince you of that if you're operating off of Christians principles instead of utilitarianism. But I look at Christian purity culture and still see many failure ponits- e.g maritial rape, or to a lesser degree all the other ways a couple could get married and grow to dislike each other and would be much happier divorced. And I agree with you that the author overlooks the many women who do enjoy kink. Although I don't think she's saying they don't exist, just that many women are pressured into kink despite not enjoying it. And I think Christian purity culture also fails those women- if a girl would genuinely be happier engaging in BDSM with multiple different men a week, and those girls do exist I believe albeit they're rarer than some pop culture would lead you to believe, they should be free to pursue that. But I do think the sort of culture you paint would be my second choice. My first choice being a culture where everyone is aware of the biologically differences between men and women, and men are held accountable for sexual abuse but only sexual abuse that's real, and women are expected to exercise agency in identifying and seeking the outcomes that are actually best for her instead of just waiting for a hot man to ask her to hook up.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
That's a pretty hot take and I very much disagree with it. I think they often express less agency than men, and that that is partially biological, but they still have plenty of agency. And through changing culture like what the article advocates for, women can have even more agency. And that'd be a great thing.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I mean she is doing porn for money now
Is that an actual bad outcome? She earns far more money than she would using her degree. If it's solely as a result that it'll be harder for her to find a job or a man after she ages and Only Fans doesn't work for her anymore, what'd go wrong with changing society not to hold Only Fans as a black mark against her?
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
How do you think women should behave when it comes to modern dating and hook ups?
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
The solution is for women to apply their own agency and to stop sleeping with those 5% of men who are dirtbags.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I found it remarkable that she fully offloaded any responsibility from women for the status quo. They are all being forced to have all this sex with strangers by the men and the media and have zero accountability themselves.
I came to something of the opposite conclusion. She was condemning purity culture and sex positive feminists, but wasn't ultimately trying to stop them. That this essay was targetted at women to convince them not to engage in sex that will make them unhappy, and to inform them that it's not anti-feminist to remain a virgin. That they can and should take responsibility for their happiness in relationships and not allow themselves to be manipulated.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
So what's your alternative solution? Do you support purity culture, or have a fourth option beyond purity culture, sexual liberation, or the author's solution of a world where people are not concerned with purity but do properly reflect on whether a hook up will actually make them happy?
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
https://www.tracingwoodgrains.com/p/the-faas-hiring-scandal-a-quick-overview
Seems pretty relevant
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I've volunteered at my local small town's annual founding festival, which has small events and games like a pie eating contest and an auction, if that counts
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Probably that's entirely driven by irrational gamblers and the fact the bet maximums and fees make betting against 3rd parties, even if it's a sure thing, not worth it when the odds are already that low.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I'll delete and reupload then
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
Wcostream has long been my favourite animation pirating site
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I'd agree to all that.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I think it's a good idea not to execute surrendering combants because otherwise they'd be incentivized to keep fighting until their last breath. I'd be happy to see all pirates executed, but you have to consider the incentives involved. Similar to how if a terrorist holds an innocent hostage and demands a $10k ransom, even if you very much think the hostage's life is worth $10k, you might want to "not negotiate with terrorists" because the terrorist will just keep taking hostages as long as you pay for hostages.
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I think "the media very rarely lies" just straight up doesn't apply to headlines. In the actual bodies of the article, the description is pretty balanced, albeit biased towards Democrats by citing experts who say it's a bad idea but not citing any experts who say "obviously you shouldn't be allowed to wear a mask while committing a crime".
non_radical_centrist
1yr ago
I did pass by a group of women skateboarding and filming their tricks, so that's something.
My rule of them is ~20% of women do genuinely have similar interests and passion for those interests as the average guy, and we should be accomadating and not pretend those 20% of women don't exist in the sports world or video game world or whatever else world. But we also definitely shouldn't be trying to rearrange society to try to increase that 20% of women to match the % of men with those interests.
I believe so, I don't know her exact numbers but she happily took an OF career over a law career.
If she's making good money off of it, then yeah, all the power to her. I'm more concerned about the men who pay for it tbh, I'd expect most of her subscribers are lonely men who aren't able to get any consistent romance in real life so they pay to get a scrap of personalized sexual attention from her. But I think what I interpreted to be her proposed solution, that woman be more selective with who they sleep with and avoid hook ups with fuckboys(aka Chads in incel lingo) and that they hold out for relationships, would lead to better outcomes for men too.
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