practical_romantic
Pretending to be a cs undergrad.
User ID: 975
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I have been on it for three months now and it does help quite a bit. I will do as the psychiatrist says. I tell him what i feel and he gives me prescriptions. The prozac is more for my adhd than anything as I am not someone who is very depressed.
but I am absolutely blown away by your motivation and drive given you are taking prozac and ambien
lol thanks pal, I got super lucky in life and will fucking kill myself to get better. The only way I can be a good devotee is by good actions, if by next year, same time, I have all that I want or rather have genuinely done all that I can, then maybe I think I would be worthy of any praise, not till then. People go through much worse than me and still succeed, I can do that too.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Does anyone here have any experience with psychiatric drugs like ambien, prozac and axepta with viviloref. My skin doctor makes me consume finasteride, fish oil and biokap for my hair (I have decent hair but was thinning, the thinning has stopped now so I am glad I took action on this soon as now I will not lose hair). Obviously minoxidil plus fin solution twice a day too.
The main aim this week is to keep both my workout and study journal handy and update them honestly daily. Ambien does cause some issues but imo is it more of my fault as I take it at different times and hence also have little consistency with my axepta and prozac (take both in the morning).
Anyway, will refrain from long rants. Measured my 1rpm today and shall begin 531 from tomorrow. I still have urges to not study, be lazy, surf the internet all day or to check the ig of my oneitis but at least I do something daily. Tracking it would give me more accountability so should be a good exercise. That way I can pinpoint what causes inconsistency and modify that behavior.
Obviously there is some pent up frustration within me. I have a lot of advantages over a lot of my peers simply because I have competent people irl guiding me, I still feel bad at times about my oneitis. I hate grinding, being alone and having to work but on the other hand, this is what makes you aryan. Life will always have these issues and running away never helps with that. I just needed to vent that. I do not tell my friends about that girl, it is kinda silly but I do not want to lie, at least not on the only place where I can be honest.
The greeks worked out not just because it made you look better and higher class but also it makes you better on the inside, the main reward hence is the betterment of who you are. Physical culture makes you better inside with the muscles just being a side effect of a better mind. This may also be why even today, Greek or roman sculptures are more pleasing to the human eye than anything else, Not only can you look like them (the later stages did see the statues getting exaggerated to a point of absurdity) but they also showcase bodies that are capable and I genuinely find that appealing. All my mockery or low thoughts about others get washed away after I take an objective look at my own performance after a hard day in either of these two.
You have to get used to pain and learn to develop an instinct for finishing tasks, I would justify stuff by telling myself that since I am trying my best, I do not need to track things as the day to day inconsistency would make me feel bad. Progress however is consistently positive and tracking helps you visualize that. If you track things, you know if you are failing or not, there is no vagueness to it, an objective review of three months of daily review will take one further than working till you cannot anymore without tracking.
Definitely learnt this and the part about having a killer instinct the hard way. A good person or rather those who do well get disproportionally more for just being slightly ahead of those behind them, similarly, doing slightly more work each day so that you actually hit targets does more than just leaving something at 90 percent. You get 100 percent rewards at 100 percent and 0 at 90. Sure it is good practice to do 90 over 0 but at this point, I should be able to know what realistic goals are, what my daily and weekly work capacity is and how much I can expect to improve.
I am glad that I know this now lol. Just writing it down since I will read this post later in the future to look back on the time when I started tracking things. It takes one action to have massive impact on you, visiting a decent club did more for me than many months of reading or texting so I expect much from tracking stuff transparently and consistently.
Have a great week!
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I do not want to have emotional feelings for a girl ever again. The only time I can like one and not get fucked over is when i can walk away. I still feel bad about my oneitis and would never want to go though that ever again.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
How to keep my eyes healthy despite staring at a screen all day? Any advice, my eyes have some issues now, slight irritation and inability to focus. I do not want to get glasses.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
PUA and manosphere are very different. I do not despise women or see them as different beings nor do I use any strategies to get them. Believing that RSD taught this stuff is akin to believing the horrible untrue things most believe about anything not lefty politically.
I just go out, have fun and do my best to leave them better than I found them and just write about it so that I can get better.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
yeah, i will not post any field reports here later on. thanks for the reminder.
I will post them on another place and link them back.
Edit - edited the FR, it is linked for those who want to read the field report.
I went to a nightclub for the first time last saturday and had a blast. I made out with/danced/ felt four different girls and three of them complied with less than 2 minutes of me asking them to do it.
I was just gonna see my date for coffee at this hipster coffee place, she got late so I talked to two other girls and got her number as well.
Later went to that nightclub place and had fun. I got blocked by 2 of the 4 girls who did touch me but that is fine.
Main takeway is that I am now in a state of abundance, as in I have tasted it myself and will never be desperate for girls. Earlier I would just cry over getting blocked but now I do not care as I know I will find better and many many many more of them later so focusing on careermaxxing for remote ML or Quant jobs is the right path as I will miss out on the club here but will be able to do this in posh areas in the capital later.
Once you taste it, you are different, I have changed as a person completely and hope you all experience this.
P.S. The field report is linked and is on my profile. The field report contains the details of the interactions so please if you get the time, do read them and let me know what you feel. https://old.reddit.com/user/practical_romantic/comments/xwf3y7/fr_first_night_at_a_club_and_some_daygame/
Religiosity, Abundance and internal motivation have made my life much better. Do read and provide feedback. Action beats everything, just being there in field helped me grow up and have more fun than all of the reading ever did. Overall quite fun, something changed inside me, a switch was flipped, I know that I can get all girls and hence do not need to worry about them now at all since I have better things to do.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Take supplements a knowledgeable doctor would prescribe and start resistance training.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
i will, thanks.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I meant uni lol.
Also wierd night, my first one at a nightclub, the girl I was with nearly fucked me in the girls restroom but I was caught by the security.
Later made out with 3 other chicks, 2 blocked me immediately when I texted them, like wtf man.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I don't think it's healthy to have the family structure found in the west, period.
Marriage is a sacred bond.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
thanks.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
lmao, I mean my girl issues stem from just being in a small place where I cannot meet many girls. This will vanish when I move out and interact with a bunch more pretty high iq girls on the regular with better logistics and a suitable lifestyle.
I mean my future wife as in when I do get married and have kids with her, I will not divorce her as that is not how families work according to Hindu ideals.
My parents made it work and because of better understanding of how thins work, I should have an easier time.
regardless, divorce is off the table, marriage is like being tied to a ship, you sink with your mate. Now the question of unfaithfulness is a big one here which is especially why I go out and talk to girls so that I am not green when I settle down.
This confused me for a little bit since I recognized your name: "Aren't you the guy who posts about his girl troubles?"
lmao, I hope I become known as the guy who is disciplined in the near future instead of this. This made me laugh and get a bit sad but mostly laugh.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
The one about step parents being 40 times more likely to abuse kids than biological parents. The west gets family wrong, I will likely never divorce my wife since marriage in Hinduism is a bond for many lives, not just one and the main unit is the family. My mother stayed in a marriage I never would have despite it not even being my fathers fault. My family had some genuinely terrible circumstances and my mother could have left, had I been her, I would have but she stayed for us. I do not wish anything bad on kids who have step parents but anyone who stays together despite issues deserves respect.
I really liked the one about /u/tracingwoodgrains wedding. Other than that maybe the ones where standard_order told me to get addicted to natural dopamine or where everyone trashed me because my oneitis began dating some other dude. I did not get what the people meant back then but it makes more sense the more I read it. The standard_order post was in october 2020 and this one in march 2021. January 2021 stands out too but yeah.
One that will forever stand out would be the book review of from third world to first.
My mid terms are going to end tomorrow. I had just 4 papers this semester, only two were technical and even they went better than the ones before. I will likely smoke with a few friends and roam around.
I used to think that I needed to get female validation to feel good about myself but in all honesty, it is these little moments that I will miss. I will be leaving college in may 2023, January if I get an internship and that means that I only have a few weeks left of this.
There is something about being with young people. I live with my parents as my house is a 30-45 minute drive from my uni. I was earlier gonna try for a date with some girl or go for pickup but fuck that. I will just chat till 4 am with my friends, sleep on the dorm floors again and maybe eat at some cheap food joint. Reminisce about my oneitis and yell cuss words. It is not exactly what most here would be doing but I just realized that I too will likely be posting what most here post in a years time given I will be employed.
I hated uni and it was my fault that I fucked up all that I did but I still made good friends so yeah, hoping I will get dead drunk tomorrow, make memories forever and stay in the moment.
I have always had a oneitis since I can remember, maybe since 4th grade where I would progressively spend more time thinking about girls, during 9th and 10th grade I had the most fun I ever did in school and I was a complete loser for all girls. I do not remember any of the girls I was obsessed with back then but will always fondly look bad at those years before cram school became serious, same for this year in uni. Spending that night with my friends was more memorable than losing my virginity was.
Do suggest some hangover cures lol, I do not drink but it is good to be a degenerate at times and enjoy these little things. I also got high this Tuesday after a few beers, it was my second time this year and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I was out of it and could barely walk. I think this is what people call a bad trip or something, anyway, tomorrow should be fun.
I hear my parents often talk about how important these little moments are and as a kid I never understood what they meant but now I do.
Like that song two minds by Nero (https://youtube.com/watch?v=KFWFJGfEaNo)
"I told you too many times,
It's the little things that count which can make someone feel special."
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I stay away from politics because I am quite incompetent as of right now and do not see it as anything beyond procrastination given that if I struggle with my own duties, I cannot understand anything that is that high level.
Hinduism has the concept of kaliyuga which means that bad things are invetible but on the other hand a good ruler has the capability to change that. The returns on reading about technocapital only exist when you have actual capital.
I do not write about politics not just because I do not want to be harassed in the future but also because I am not a political theorist. Politics is the most important thing in one's life.
I got my oneitis because that girl was the first person I ever had a conversation with who shared the same views as me, this was before I discovered twitter and became a niche e microceleb but the real chad move is to disengage and get a decent life. My family is in academia and Indian academia is intellectually bankrupt so I made up my mind at an early age to not take a job in this sector.
You can get an anon substack with a tutanota id and can remain anonymous if you can change your writing style to the point where people cannot recognise you but I myself have chosen the path that mishima chose where I think my time is better spent being "cool" for people like me and doing something.
Academics can be supremely dishonest and we saw Scott getting doxxed despite years of activism against many ideologies directly against the current climate. The best thing one can do is to be good, be anon and be genuinely happy. Academia will remain broken and the state of the world is known to everyone who reads this place. It pays you less and a heretic priest will always be burned publicly and made an example out of. These jobs like academia and journalism at least in the west compensate the lack of monetary incentives with the ability to fasten the machine.
I feel your pain given my country is even worse where the current left wing regime is termed far right despite their policies. Take a break, spend time with your family and if possible find like minded smart people irl.
The Gods both blessed and cursed us given the times we live in. We know the problems and maybe one can say we all have been given the chance of finding the answers that those before us could not find.
Nothing hurts others than genuine happiness. I never thought 5 years ago that I would be here, maybe things will be different for those who come after us. Just do not get blackpilled my friend.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Yeah, cold approach is what made me not hate women. I was bitter because I would never get any to ever like me but when I started talking to many, I realised that they would feel what's inside and me, that being happier is better.
It's a skill and you get better at it if you keep trying.
I'm a novice still but can't wait to try this in nightclubs at a big city lol.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
can you not go to med school now?
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Only older forms of pickup have wierd attitudes. Actual pickup is dead, you will get much better results from that than with models but models itself is not a bad system per say.
Pickup is not about cramming lines or tactics but understanding that any conversation has a flow, a structure and how you say something matters more than what it is that you are saying. You develop a social sixth sense and it is a way of condensing the interactions of a lifetime in a short duration to give you better intuition.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Cold approach in nightclubs. you will fail in the beginning but this is the way to learn in the modern world. Go out everyday for 30 minutes and try to pull strangers you find attractive. This is a hard skill to master as people are too stuck up inside their heads but this is the one thing with the best rewards. Internet dating is not the best, paying with fire is a firm that specialises in online game but then again, cold approach.
Also cold approach works mostly in towns with young people.
do jal neti and be careful to not suck in any water through your nostrils. Let it pass and then gently, very gently blow your nose 5 minutes later. Do it with warm water. It is a good way to keep you safe. Also see a doctor asap and see if your stomach's acid is leeching into your throat, happens with me so I stay away from food that aggravates it.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
Going out with my cousins, music and mental illness. How life got better, some perspective close to 4 years after my first time here.
I was out with my cousins last night and got fucking hammered. I smoked up a bit after a few beers and had a super bad trip, just spaced out. I do want to do this again but only after I get a remote job and move to a large town. I lost all motor control lol. It is fun to do this stuff from time to time and it is not very religious of me but as long as I do other things well, Bhagwan should forgive me. We went to an arcade before that and to anyone who says money can't buy you happiness, it can buy you a good amount at an arcade with friends, super cool date idea if you have had sex with the person you are on a date with.
Although this week I want to write about music and more specifically passion pit, about how life is different now than what it was 4 years ago. Recently, the debut EP of Passion Pit titled "Chunk of Change" turned 14 and his most famous album "Gossamer" turned 10, it brought back so many memories that I had to write about it. The details about various tracks is optional so you can just read before the part that says optional and save time lol. It is a one man band run by second gen greek immigrant named Michael Angelakos who looks hot according to my cousin sister lol. The music is super upbeat with really dark lyrics about romance, life, death, immigration, loss of culture, most importantly mental disorders, how they wreck havoc and the feeling of helplessness that comes with seeing how little agency you sometimes have. The love you have for those who still stick by and finally hope for the future.
He suffers from Bipolar which due to its severity led to many manic episodes that he is not proud of. He is keenly aware of how it is destroying his life, he does his best to put on a brave face, hope for a better future but he ends up being sadder because of how bad life gets due to these episodes. It feels very relatable because I know how my own issues (laziness, I hate using the term ADHD as I have more agency than what I would like to admit) is doing the same. Fortunately, life has gotten better but not at the pace at which I would like and failing now means having permanent consequences for my actions forever. People who meet me think of me as some sort of a super extroverted lovable wierdo with some out there political beliefs who seems energetic and happy but everyone here can kinda tell what I really feel on the inside. I have been felling better now and my new prozac prescription may be a part of it.
He has not made new music since 2018 and got divorced with his wife but many said that he is happy with his life now, so here is how an american-greek synth pop music band kinda changed my life a little bit by giving me hope during my lowest phase.
I had been kicked out of high school and did poorly in my high school examinations. I had enrolled myself into cram school and this was my last opportunity as you get to give the JEE (it is the nation wide undergrad engineering entrance test) twice. I got a great score, something quite literally no one expected. There was a brief period during that winter where I would stay up late, take warm showers whilst crying and listen to passion pit. I had a one sided thing for this half russian girl who was not very good looking out of desperation as no girl who went to high school would even check my texts as I was seen as a complete loser for my choices. That half russian chick had blocked me on ig but I would still check her ig just because I was fucked in the head.
Fast forward to 4 years or rather 3.5 to be more precise and I am now at a good program, have friends in uni, have multiple girls I can have sex with despite not having good logistics or even being in a large town. I have a future and everyone who I meet thinks I am some super smart whiz kid for having stood first in my high school exams (I re gave them in 2019 summer). I have internet communities of both anons and people who I know that go out of their way to help me. I look much better, discovered how to talk to girls, have a workout routine (could not go for two weeks due to exams). My friends help me with all the esoteric stuff I am into, I have never met them but just being religious creates a strong bond.
I do not remember the last time I cried in the shower, sure I am not doing the best I can but it is genuinely some sort of a miracle that I made it to where I am. God has been kind to me, not too bad for a high school dropout lol.
Optional reading______
Chunk of Change (2008) - This was my favorite one since the entire ep is extremely innocent. I do not believe in romantic love nor will I ever experience it but I could get a good feel of it by listening to Michael sing about it. It was originally intended as a gift to his then college girlfriend in Boston but was then later released for general public.
Cuddle Fuddle - https://youtube.com/watch?v=dNg8oT-k28E
This is my favorite song, it has various things about his relationship mentioned, highs and lows and wanting to stay with her.
Live to tell the tale - https://youtube.com/watch?v=Vl7k3LNoASQ
Here he describes his relationship in a very loving innocent way. Very rom com ish.
Smile upon me is another track along the same lines in this EP
Manners (2009) - This was his first proper studio album and it was when his music started to peak for the general audience. The lyrics became darker and it shifted from just his girlfriend to other topics. It got a lot of mainstream recognition due to the catchy songs being used by many video games and TV Shows.
Sleepyhead - https://youtube.com/watch?v=5bfseWNmlds
This was the most famous track from the album and it blends many things, it is likely about death and someone being on their deathbed. Super catchy.
Little secrets - https://youtube.com/watch?v=ScC_pi3PJ9k
This was the single most relatable song since he mentions his mom here and how his actions are tarnishing the family's name. the song has a kids choir singing the main verse and it. The song is about his bipolar disorder where he mentions a manic episode, hallucinating and the extremes he feels because of being bipolar but cannot tell or explain anything to anyone.
Some other cool tracks are let your love grow tall, the reeling, eyes as candles, to kingdom come. He is a greek orthodox church member so he makes a few references in these tracks about the church.
Gossamer (2012) - This is the most popular album by far with even catchier , refined pop synths and darker lyrics. It just turned 10 years old, I remember watching it's songs on Vh1 back in the day and feel super old just realizing that this it was 10 years ago. Life goes by fast.
Carried away - https://youtube.com/watch?v=DiEwJTOderQ
Watch the video, it is about the struggles in a relationship with him apologizing about his behavior and wanting to make up with his girl. It is super cute and kinda bittersweet.
Take a walk - https://youtube.com/watch?v=dZX6Q-Bj_xg&t=13s
This is a nostalgia bomb, I remember hearing it on a FIFA game in 2012 or 2013 whilst playing it with my friends on a Playstation 2. Life was simpler back then. Anyway this song is about what it is like to be a first gen immigrant in the US, losing touch with your family, financial issues and what it is like to be a man of the family, it has verses about markets, having to keep up a lifestyle etc. Listen to it. It is really really good.
Cry like a ghost - https://youtube.com/watch?v=i380DwcJxxM
This is about alcohol abuse but the video is about a woman regretting being alcoholic and promiscuos. Regardless it is a very different narration of what being black out drunk and it's bad consequences can be, including being abusive.
I'll be alright - https://youtube.com/watch?v=6Bmg3h7RSM4
This is about him describing his struggles and hoping for a better tomorrow. Similar to another great track called better things released earlier.
Constant Conversations - https://youtube.com/watch?v=EBLuWKnKIn0
The song is about alcholism and abuse, the video however seems more about american upper society's degenracy. Very mellow.
Love is greed - https://youtube.com/watch?v=7kZZwIlz45M
Love is painful, my favorite verse is 'If we really love ourselves, How do you love somebody else?'
where we belong, american blood etc are other great songs.
He later realeased two more albums, kindred and a tremendous sea of love. Both are awesome.
I won't go into detail about the other two albums that were both amazing, but passion pit's music is the kind that i find most relatable because he has mental issues that he cannot control. I have never listened to a song by him that I do not like and you too should try his stuff out.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
I want to learn the Melbourne shuffle personally before I shift to more trad things like kathak. I really like the energy of Melbourne shuffle but for now, need to become competent.
practical_romantic
2yr ago
no, it is a sin but a forgivable one, most indians are not hindu, at least not like me. They are actively ashamed of their own religion and are the cause for our low position in society, I do not think that doing anything to the outgroup is viewed as severely as being done to the ingroup. I may get over her the moment I move out to the large town i desire to as then I would have abundance and logistics both but I still do wish for her.
I dunno, it is hard to describe, maybe by the time i meet her, she may be single again, she may not even be in a relationship given this is second hand info.
Do you think I'm sad? Or am I sad for real or what? Because I am on Prozac right now so can't tell.
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