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non_radical_centrist  13d ago (farhakhalidi.substack.com)   5350 thread views

confessions of a femcel: why i'm a 24 year old female virgin.

farhakhalidi.substack.com

It's an essay about the various flaws modern feminist sex positivity culture has for women, and that it's often a good idea to refrain from sex even if one isn't religious. The author is an Only Fans model for context. I thought it did a great job laying out the downsides of ubiquitous sex.(Reposted because I accidentally linked to reddit instead of the original essay earlier).

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In no particular order:

  • Her college sex and dating environment does sound pretty bleak.
  • Islam as represented by the people in her life also sounds pretty bleak in respect to women.
  • She does seem to be perpetuating some of the bleakness with camgirl activities and inviting romantic prospects to bed then ejecting them again, rather than just not inviting them.
  • As is sometimes said, it probably isn't to women's advantage that colleges are very female now. But it doesn't even seem cearly to men's medium term advantage, if the women come out jaded and thinking of men as basically beasts.
  • It seems like eventually the college girls would learn to say things like "I want a romantic relationship, not a one night stand" and hold out against the "why's" with their experiences of disappointment? It doesn't seem like most of them care all that much for the sex in and of itself, or are all that carried away in the moment aside from the effects of intoxicants they're choosing to take.

I think saying you want a romantic relationship has the excluded buyer issue especially with gender imbalances in Universities.

Let’s so there is the captain of the football team let’s call him Travis. And there the Rich hot girl who’s a ten let’s call her Taylor. Taylor may want a relationship. But Travis knows he can also get a dozen girls who don’t quite know they aren’t Taylor quality. So he goes that route. Which then puts Taylor wanting a relationship at her level to jump in the game too. Then add in gender imbalances. Maybe the bottom 30% of male market doesn’t hasn’t matured and doesn’t have many desirable dating traits yet.

Guys getting a choice between hanging out with the better choice or going down a rung and having a lot of fun choose to have a lot of fun. They learn to fake interest a little (but kind of think it’s just manners by providing plausible deniability). Now you have market dynamics where sluttiness is required to get attention. Of they aren’t invited to the right parties/events. Or even get chances to hang out one on one.

I guess one could say girls should form a union to eliminate the behavior. Which we did use to have. It was called religion. But society decided that was archaic.

It’s like game theory. Perhaps the best position for all girls is not to be a slut. But once a lot of girls are defecting their move becomes to defect too.

This seems to prove too much. How is it that anyone finds a long term partner in college? And yes, this does happen, I know of several cases.

One party intentionally or unintentionally dates down, finding a partner who recognizes the very good thing they got and holds on tight.

I don't think so.

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