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Married men of the motte, I need a sanity check.
To put it bluntly, my partner is lower status and less intelligent than I am. 110 vs 125 IQ points. middle class vs upper middle class.
We've been together for a year and our relationship is otherwise great (unrelated mental hang ups i have posted about here before aside). I can see myself marrying and being content.
Unfortunately, I am a pretty HBD-pilled individual, and the concept of my future children potentially being less intelligent and of phenotypically lower status fills me with dread. (The woman in question has many many positive qualities I DO want my kids to have.)
Is it over? Is that alone enough to say I should break up because that shows how I don't really love her etc? Are doubts like this normal for a young guy who's maybe getting commitment anxiety?
I come from a family of fairly accomplished people. Upper middle class academics and some geniuses. Her family generationally is lower/middle middle class.
My children would inherit this.
Now I should add that her family is of perfectly average to above average intelligence. The biggest difference is that they have very little intellectual curiosity. Abysmal levels of general knowledge, archetypical shape rotators.
(They do have their own opinions and are independent thinkers but they are deeply "practical people")
I thought this wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, in the relationship. But I dread my kids being like that.
Narcissism? Does my girlfriend secretly disgust me? Am I giving this too much thought? I really want some outside opinion on this, preferably by people with children. This is obviously something I can only talk about on this forum.
I'd argue that conscientiousness is at least as important as intelligence, so from a pure genetic perspective I'd be as mindful of that as much as intelligence.
If she is as much more conscientious as you are intelligent your kids will likely come out ahead of where you are.
Lastly, I'm sure most people have some doubts at about a year into a relationship and start window-shopping, usually overestimating their own market value. How desirable are you really to a partner? Perhaps this is the best you can do. Odds are that you did your best to get this relationship and that you can't do much better. That doesn't have to be the case for you but it's the likely case. Don't piss away a good thing just due to some strange internet reasons. If you're really worried then you can compensate by rolling the dice more times through having more children.
I think you mean you conscientiousness? Though contentiousness might be an entertaining quality as well.
Yeah, thanks. I've been a bit out of it lately.
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