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PaperclipPerfector  7mo ago (text post)   2400 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 13, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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People of the Motte, what does your social life look like these days? What would you like for there to be more or less of? What is working well? What would you change?

Here are the social things I did in the last week. Of note, I am engaged, and so my fiancée (F) gets of my social points.

  • On Saturday, F and I went to Saturday church service, and then we went to a church festival elsewhere of a different church. (I tried to win at the "throw a beanbag at the bowling pins" game, but only hit the target 1 of 3 times. Poor showing.) We bought some stuff at the rummage sale, and listened to the local cover band play '90s hits.
    • Review: I would have liked to talk more to the people at church; instead, we left after the service ended. I want to increase those bonds. I think later this month I will attend my church's book club, currently reading Trials of the Earth: The True Story of a Pioneer Woman. Going to the festival with F was a lovely time that I would repeat without reservation.
  • On Sunday, F and I went to a charity gala sponsored by my employer. We made small talk with a few people, listened to guest speakers, and watched an auction.
    • Review: This was somewhat tedious, but I was honored that my employer picked me as one of just a few representatives to the gala. I would do this again, but I would not really look forward to it.
  • On Monday, my friend S came over to my house. We drank some bourbon and he beat the piss out of me at chess. S is a computer science student at the local university; I met him at the church I attended before I moved out of that neighborhood. S is a 2000+ rated player on Chess.com. He was happy to explain his moves, and my moves, and the implications of each while we played; and I learned a lot.
    • Review: This was a lot of fun and I would like to do it more often. However, overall I'd rather rest on Monday nights than do social things.
  • Wednesday is me and F's scheduled weekly date night. We opted for a quiet night in. On this occasion we read the pre-marriage book we're going through together, made some pumpkin cookies, played with my cat, and watched Gunsmoke.
    • Review: An enjoyable preview of married life, which generally reflects my preferences in every way.
  • The one other usual activity, is that I typically play tennis once a week with J, a man in his 50s who I met at a Meetup.com meetup. J has a moderate mental disability of some kind, and as a result has a mental level that I would say is about 12 years old; and it is very hard to understand him when he speaks. Nevertheless he's actually a pretty good tennis player, and he also likes to rant about the current political situation in a way that I find quite entertaining. Anyway, I bailed this week because I'm trying to get over a bunch of minor injuries.

Additionally, I have perpetual text or e-mail conversations going with: three friends from high school, two former coworkers, and my mom.

My assessment of my own social life: I do wish I had some more groups of friends based on similar interests, but this has never worked out for me before. I could start going to the local chess club or something; but every time I've gone to some sort of interest-based group in the last ten years or so, it's been dominated by strange people with poor social skills, who presumably are only able to socialize with this captive audience. I would like to become engaged with local political entities, and I might go to a dinner hosted by the local political party club in two weeks, just to see what it's like. And sometimes I think about joining a fraternal organization, and letting that be a place where I go to watch baseball games and drink beer socially in the summer; perhaps I will do that.

In general, I am plagued by the idea that I can't find high-quality, interesting, enjoyable people to hang out with - I have the ones I already have, but I can't seem to add to their number. It seemed so easy in college (as everyone says), but maybe my standards were just lower. In adult life, I seem to meet them basically at random, scattered about all different places and activities

As mentioned upthread, my social life is basically nonexistent at the moment. Downsides of living out of the way, with my colleagues mostly commuting in from the big city. No real opportunities to meet people outside of work unless I decide to haunt the local pubs.[1] I presume it'll get better once I move, be it from having opportunities to hang out after work, or simply by proximity to people who share my interests.

Luckily my girlfriend is doing her PhD at St. Andrew's, and I'm being gently coaxed into her social circle, but that's barely begun. They seem like nice enough people!

[1]The Scots have their priorities straight, the place doesn't have a GP or anywhere to buy clothing, but it's got 4 bars. And apparently had 27 servicing a mere 7000 people before COVID culled 'em**)

** The bars, that is, evidently it didn't cull the elderly enough if my patient pool is any testament. It gets awkward when one of the better bars is next to a care home that houses many of them, I could swear that I can spot a few of them who absolutely aren't supposed to be drinking in the clientele.

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