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PaperclipPerfector  10mo ago (text post)   3084 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 27, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce I have finally found a decent pizza place near me. I have no earthly idea why, but this has been a remarkable weight off my mind.

What’s your definition of decent pizza?

He probably means something as good or at least a little better than Little Caesars

Every time I eat Little Caesars, I feel like I want to die. The pizza helps me here, because it makes me feel like I am actually going to die.

At first I start to sweat. I lose feeling in my limbs, my stomach aches in a concerningly numb way, and my eyelids become heavier than my crushing guilt. Actual ambrosia would not be worth the feelings it creates.

And yet I still crave the Caesar. Despite smoking many times throughout my life, I have never once failed to resist the cravings to do it more. Nicotine has nothing on that hellish pizza. An entire day’s worth of willpower is burnt if it ends up in my presence.

May Satan take that whole chain (but maybe I’ll have just one slice before he does.)

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