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Freddie deBoer has a new article out in which he argues that our society has become overly permissive (without ever actually using the phrase "the permissive society"). He uses a few recent articles to set the scene (an increasingly defeatist sense among the laptop class that there's no option but to be extremely online; a qualified defense in the New Yorker and New York magazine of the notion of being an iPad parent), before getting into the meat of his argument. Where before our society expected people to behave in a certain way most of the time, increasingly there's a broad sense that all lifestyles are equally valid; that there's nothing wrong with following the path of least resistance (in terms of effort expended), at all times in every sphere of your life; and that people who do hold people to higher standards of behaviour than the bare minimum are being toxic in some way. Where before the expectation was to dress formally in the office, now "smart casual" rules the day (if that); where before it was only profoundly autistic and unemployable men still playing with Lego and cosplaying as Star Wars characters in their thirties, now such behaviour has become entirely normalised among the gainfully employed. The boilerplate celebrity interview question "What book are you currently reading?" was retired years ago: no one is reading books anymore, or if they are, it's the same YA slop their teenage children, nieces and nephews are reading. If modern Anglophone society has a telos, it's "umm, let people enjoy things??"
Freddie's point is well-taken and I agree with most of it: Disney and Marvel adults are contemptible, as are adults taking out second mortgages so they can follow Taylor Swift on tour. Grown adults who don't know how to cook proper meals and eat fast/convenience food for every meal should feel ashamed, even if they don't. Some examples of the trend are conspicuous by their absence: it's interesting that Freddie brings up "adult men who proudly eat nothing but chicken nuggets and Kraft macaroni and cheese" and women wearing snuggies in public without once alluding to the body positivity/health at every size movement, even though it's a perfect example of the relaxing of standards across the board. (I mean, these people spent years complaining about the "toxic and unrealistic beauty standards" promulgated by the fashion industry and social media, and apparently succeeded in replacing them with - nothing, no standards at all.) But one of the specific examples he cites seems oddly in tension with the others:
I agree with him that, in the modern Western world, there's no longer much of an expectation for people to live and present themselves "authentically": among sufficiently online women, using Instagram filters on your selfies is the rule rather than the exception; cosmetic surgery (in both sexes) is more common than ever; the less said about LinkedIn, the better.
But it occurred to me: for all of the other examples of the trend towards relaxation of standards, isn't this precisely how the people engaging in these lifestyle choices would defend them? "I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin wearing a tie to the office - wearing a hoodie and sweatpants makes me feel more like myself." "I used to read boring grown-up books because that's what was expected of me and people would make fun of me for reading Harry Potter on the tube - I like that now I can read Harry Potter without shame." And so on.
What do you think?
RE: the authenticity point, I noticed sometime in the last decade that whole subcultures seem to have mostly died out and there certainly seem to be no new ones arising.
Has anyone actually seen a 'hipster' in real life recently? Is anyone still seriously going around trying to live the Goth or Emo lifestyle, are Metalheads still a distinct, recognizable class of music fans? And this is going to sound weird, but even hip-hop/urban culture seems to have reigned in their stylistic excesses. I haven't seen sagging pants, spinning rims on blinged out Cadillacs or absurdly long chains with absurdly large pendants in a long time. OCCASIONALLY some slightly new music genre spins out but the vast majority of popular music these days seems to fall into about 4 genres.
The only pimped out rides I notice these days are usually lifted trucks with underbody lights.
Its like, despite living in the single best possible era for people with niche, 'esoteric,' and bespoke interests and tastes, we seem to be homogenizing more than ever.
If we are maximally permissive, and there are no real social standards to 'transgress' against perhaps everyone just sort of gravitates to the nearest cluster of peers and just apes their style, with minor variations. You can't be 'counter' to any social rules if the rules don't actually forbid much. I suppose nudity is still taboo.
I say this as someone who hasn't really changed my personal style in about 20 years. So it felt like everyone was making things up as they went along either way, but now they're not even bothering to make it up, they just pick from approximately 3, maybe 5 predefined style palettes and buy the recommended brands and then they're good to go. Maybe they change a bit with the seasons. Pumpkin spice gives way to Peppermint Mocha.
Yes and I work with two.
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