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Got married a few days ago, which was cool. Post your tips for a happy marriage.
I only really have two pieces of advice, from the man's POV, based on my own marriage and the marriages of the other men I know.
Thing number one is the constant battle against their wive's neuroticism. Iliza Shlesinger has this great bit about how driven she (and by the applause the got the women in her audience as well) is by neuroticism. Just the complete inability to sit still, and instead constantly fuck with thing and fuck with things and fuck with things. And only at the end of the day when she's so exhausted she can't possibly do anything at all, she gets 5 minutes of peace from her own brain before the oblivion of sleep overtakes her.
This is not a problem the typical man contends with. Your mileage may vary.
It's an older special she did this in, and in the context of the bit she's single. In the context of being married, myself and every man I know deals with their wife expecting them to do their neuroticism for them, because they are so tired of doing their own neuroticism all day. As a concrete example, I might call the doctor to set up an appointment for my daughter, and then write it on the calendar. My wife will get anxious that the calendar is wrong and want me to call the doctor's office to confirm that I wrote it down correctly. This excessive neuroticism is frustrating to me, and she refuses to make the call herself because she doesn't feel like it, but she can't act right until I do her neuroticism for her.
Side note for the husbands, never, ever say "Fine, I'll do your neuroticism for you". That was a mistake.
It has not helped that therapy speak has been popularized around these issues such that men are utilizing "weaponize incompetence" when they don't perform task to their wive's neurotic standards. It also has not helped that counselling services largely treat a wife's neuroticism as the highest possible priority in a relationship, and don't assess the reasonableness of it what so ever.
The second plague on husbands has been the popularization of "love languages". Suddenly every wife has decided that "acts of service" are her love language, which means her husband has to do everything she ask or he's not loving her properly. It's been one of the most effective mind viruses of entitlement I've ever seen, and it's swept through every marriage I'm aware of. Seems to have largely run it's course, but it was a thing about a year ago, and every man was run down and miserable under the relentless entitled demands for a solid 3-6 months before things came to a boil. Don't do that.
Dang your first part describes my wife so perfectly well.
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