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Notes -
Do we still talk about Scott's articles on this site?
He has a new one out about Conflict Theory vs. Mistake Theory.
https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/why-i-am-not-a-conflict-theorist
The general thrust of his argument is that conflict theory doesn't explain voting patterns because people vote against their self-interest. For example, rich elites are generally in favor of raising taxes, which affect them disproportionately. And it was young people, not vulnerable old people, who were more likely to be lockdown fascists during Covid.
But I'm not sure if this adequately explains conflict vs. mistake theory. Conflict theory is inherently tribal, and people will do things against their own self-interest, even their tribal self-interest, to own the other tribe. Dunking on the other team is its own reward, moreso than actual spoils.
Nevertheless, I remain a mistake theorist. More of the modern world developed by accident than by scheming. For example, take immigration. Clearly, this is an area of heated tribal conflict now. But it wasn't always this way. When the US opened up the current era of mass immigration in the mid-1960s, it wasn't an effort to change the ethnic makeup or import voters. At the time, demographers projected that there would be 400,000 immigrants a year, of whom 367,000 would be white! In other words, they were spectacularly wrong.
The rewrite of our country's genetic makeup happened by accident while no one was looking.
Gay rights is another area where mistake theory wins. Clearly there was a lot of conflict in this area. But then, something happened around 2010 and one side just stopped fighting. A new consensus emerged: "Love wins. People are born that way. Queer people just want to be tolerated. They don't want to shove it in our face. They just want to love their partners the same way that straight people do. They definitely won't try to convert kids." And within 15 years, almost everything about this consensus was proven wrong. Even if you think this was the plan of the gay movement all along, it still doesn't explain why Republicans went along for the ride. You might say... they were mistaken.
Sports gambling? Mistake theory.
Marijuana legalization? Mistake theory.
De-policing? Mistake theory.
People generally aren't trying to mess things up. They are just wrong about the consequences of their ideas. Sure, there are like 5 or 10% of people who are true radicals who want to destroy society and will lie to achieve their means. But the average politician or corporate leader just doesn't understand how the world works. They'll buy a load of horseshit because it sounds good and it gratifies their ego. The world changes when wrong ideas face no resistance.
Uh, how? Are you talking about trans stuff?
My understanding is that the median male homosexual does not "love their partner" in the same way that I do. It's now been admitted that "born that way" was a convenient lie which will now be discarded. LGBT as an ideological movement definitely wants to shove their ideology in my face. And they will in fact try to convert kids; at a minimum, "an unspecified but large percentage of kids are actually LGBTQ+ in their core nature, and helping them discover this through incessant, inescapable indoctrination from every level of society is a good thing". I understand that others might disagree with these statements, but I'm confident I can back all of them with solid evidence.
What does this mean?
For one example, my understanding is that the median male homosexual does not practice monogamy and is not interested in raising children. Is your understanding otherwise?
That has more to do with the fact that they’re men than the fact that they’re gay. Male homosexuality is simply male sexuality that doesn’t have to deal with women. How many straight men would practice monogamy if they could have unlimited sex on demand simply by going on an app?
Despite that, there’s still a sizeable proportion of gay men that choose monogamy and raising children, hence the demand for gay marriage and surrogacy.
How do we reconcile the concept of the Patriarchy with evident longstanding social norms of enforced monogamy?
I'm also a man. My "love for my partner" is founded on monogamy and raising children. I agree that "male sexuality that doesn't have to deal with women" is probably a pretty good explanation for many of the features of male homosexual norms that we can observe. But the fact remains that my relationship with my partner is in fact built around "dealing with women", and one woman in particular, and that as a consequence their "love for their partner" and mine do not appear to be the same sort of thing at all.
What proportion? 51%? 25%? 10%? 5%? less?
I would contend that the previous effort was to try to create the impression that monogamy and raising children, among other signifiers of "normality", were in fact 50%+. That this was only achievable by lying shamelessly is my point.
How do you mean? Traditional monogamy is very advantageous for average men, who might not be able to get a partner in a polygamous society where the richest/highest status men have multiple wives.
I’m bisexual and if your love for your partner is founded on monogamy and raising children, then fair, it’s not the same as mine. Mine is founded on deep affection for my partner, feeling like an “us” like we’re together through thick and thin, feeling comfortable revealing our most intimate parts to each other. Deeply caring for them even if they become ill, even if we never have children together (although that would sadden me), even if we agree to have an open relationship (although I’m personally more monogamous, it might change say, 5y+ into a relationship).
According to this survey, 53% of gay men were in a relationship, and 14% of gay men were in a strictly monogamous relationship. I don’t see why the numbers matter, even if there was only a single homosexual couple out there we should still accept them.
That’s not what I personally heard, the messaging I got was that it’s fine for gay men to have relationships and to raise children together.
Gay men have been having anonymous promiscuous sex even in the most repressive societies. What would you gain by removing the social acceptance of homosexual relationships and gay marriage?
Why have wives at all? Prostitution is the oldest profession, after all, and is another example of pursuing male sexuality "without having to deal with women". And yet, monogamy.
...My point is that large portions of the male population have, for a long time and across a wide area, not optimized for maximizing sexual expression "without having to deal with women." This makes them notably distinct from male homosexual behavior, at least in our present context.
My love for my partner does not begin and end with monogamy and raising children. Rather, monogamy and raising children are two emergent properties of our love. I likewise feel "deep affection" for my partner, am "committed to them through thick and thin", and "feel comfortable revealing our most intimate parts to each other". But these are just words, and I did not use them because I am not confident that they convey the essence. Caring for them if they become ill is more concrete. Continuing the relationship even if we never have children would likewise be more concrete, but my wife's desire for children is considerable, and I went into the marriage with the full understanding that if we could not have them ourselves that we would adopt or foster. But then:
We are committed to not changing in this way. We are committed to working, daily, to ensure that this does not happen, to binding our future selves to our present decisions. And again, it seems to me that there is a fundamental difference here. I think we would each agree that sex is not a small part of a relationship, but it is obvious that we do not agree about what sex is, how it works, or what consequences flow from it. I intend to be married to my wife for as long as we both shall live, to cleave to her and to no other. My community has an abundance of couples who have been married 30, 40, 50 years, and more whose marriages were ended only by death. Is that the sort of relationship you believe you have? Is it the sort of marriage common within your dunbar number?
The numbers matter because we are, necessarily, speaking in generalities. The gay community is not typified by two men in a committed long-term relationship. It is typified by, to put it mildly, extreme promiscuity and a degree of sexual license that would horrify the average American if they were aware of it. That is why so much effort was expended to ensure that the average American would instead form the belief that Homosexual relationships were functionally identical to straight ones, when this is in fact not true.
I would agree that to the extent that homosexual relationships conform to my understanding of what a good relationship is, my objections to them decrease.
Yes, in a context where "relationship" is assumed to be, at worst, serial monogamy. The large majority of gay men are not participating in this sort of relationship, and likewise (mercifully) are not raising children.
And Christians have continued practicing Christianity in even the most repressive societies. It is becoming increasingly clear which of these is preferred, and by who.
What do they and their supporters gain by removing the social acceptance of Christianity? I was all for tolerance, when I still believed that tolerance was a moral precept. Now that I understand that it is not, and now that I understand that many of them very clearly believe that coexistence is neither desirable nor possible, it seems proper that I and people like me should organize to better preserve our values and interests. Part of that is acquiring and communicating a clear understanding of who is across the table from us. To bring this back to the comment that brought me into this discussion:
"Love" is underdefined.
No, they probably are not.
This may be true for specific individual queer people. It is certainly not true of the ideological movement claiming to speak for them. That ideology has moved past toleration to approval, and past approval to attempting to force participation.
Again, the ideological movement very clearly prioritizes "shoving it in our faces" at every possible opportunity.
Speaking in generalities, no, "they" do not. Gay sexuality bears little to no resemblance to straight sexuality, in practices or in consequences.
This one is the real kicker, and where much of the debate centers. Let us say, at least, that they are very, very interested in securing and exercising as much control over children's education and understanding of sexuality as possible, and that the more kids begin identifying and acting in LGBT ways, the happier the movement is, without apparent limit or restraint.
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Just like when it's a Matriarchy; the only difference is which gender gets the better deal by default in the divorce (if it's a Patriarchy, the man comes out ahead, vice versa for women under Matriarchy).
Yes, marriage is the oldest and most respected form of professional agreement: sex for resources. Some people do describe that as love, and I have no reason to believe they are not telling the truth. It is the optimal arrangement for some, likely most, people- and this is how negotiations between husband and wife should function provided both are conducting themselves with the proper amount of self-interest.
The ultimate problem with gay couples is that no such agreement can exist due to them both being the gender that provides resources. Naturally, they cannot be strongly bound to each other. Lesbians have that problem as well- they both have a surplus of sex, so how will they obtain resources? And don't get me started on the people who forsake their natural strengths to the point they cut them off.
All of those relationships can't produce children while still qualifying as monogamy, since sex is when you implant, or run the risk of implanting, one participant's sperm into the other's egg. So, if the sperm or egg come from outside the relationship that means, on its face, it is not monogamous (and claims that it remains so are a farce).
No- in the context of "marriage" I think they're very similar. Lesbian "marriages" are less stable than straight ones due to lack of resources and initiative, whereas gay "marriages" are more stable than straight ones due to more of those things- proving that at the end of the day, it is the resources and the proper management thereof that keeps the family together.
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