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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   3079 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 15, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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"Hefting his mace, he swung at her as hard as he could."

This sounds perfectly natural to me.

Agreed on all the political points though.

It's an appositive a participial phrase and isn't wrong in any way. I suspect OP could have chosen a better example.

Edit: The issue is with the hefting I suppose. Probably wielding would be better.

This sounds perfectly natural to me.

"Xing his Y, he Zed" is meant to describe two concurrent actions. "Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she pressed send on the email."

But hefting a weapon and swinging the same weapon are consecutive, not concurrent—in GURPS terms, a Ready action and then an Attack action.

Yes, that's why the OP was right to say that it's grammatically (or syntactically, or whatever) incorrect.

Semantically incorrect; as in your example, the grammar (including syntax) is fine.

But I'd say that it's semantically fine too so long as the swinging motion is also a hefting motion. Uppercut? The sentence is correct. Horizontal? Defensible, since the attacker was exerting vertical force to keep the mace moving horizontally, but the intended implication should be "wow this mace was heavy" or at least "the attacker had to transition from raising the mace to attacking with it in a single motion" rather than "the mace had to be lifted before the swing began". Overhead bash? Incorrect, since the lifting motion for that ends before the aimed ("at her") part of the swing begins.

But regardless, if this is the worst prose that @TitaniumButterfly sees in his web fiction, I want to know what he's reading! I've enjoyed several web serials, but it's usually been much clearer that any editorial feedback did not come from professionals with English degrees, and you either make peace with that or you don't.

But who even tosses their hair over their shoulder and hits Send at the exact same time? Most people don't have the coordination for that. You ever tried to pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? It's that sort of thing.

She's obviously going to toss her hair first, and then hit Send a moment later.

You ever tried to pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?

I'm doing it right now, and I am killing it. Skill issue. /s

This sounds perfectly natural to me.

I think the complaint is that he actually hefted his mace before swinging (not while swinging, which is impossible), so it should be "He hefted his mace and swung at her".

"He hefted his mace and swung at her"

Yeah but that just sounds worse to me. No accounting for taste I suppose.

Well, it would be more like

Having hefted his mace, he swung at her as hard as he could

but I don't think that sounds any better

I would say that the heft is part of the swing. You lift and make a motion towards your target, but I would not say that the swing starts only once the weapon is at the correct height.

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