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Notes -
It's been a few years since I was on the market, but the rules were generally as follows:
first date--if I didn't make it very obvious that I wanted sex asap, there would be no second date. There wouldn't necessarily be sex on that first date, but I had better be pushing for it.
second date--if she proposed it as you suggest and I did anything but enthusiastically accept, the evening would've cooled immediately, the date would've ended, and there would be no third.
Trying to take it slow as the man is interpreted by the majority of women as a lack of genuine interest.
This is so genuinely foreign to me as an account of female behavior that I'm not sure what to say. I can't imagine acting this way, no woman I personally know has ever acted this way, I've encountered lots of younger women who blush at discussing sex in public and would self-evidently not act this way; but your experiences are your own, so I'm not going to refuse to #believemen.
I'm inclined, though, to probe the context of some of the experiences you're describing-- for instance, how often did you actually encounter women openly proposing sex, then turn them down? When you say that women would ghost you if you refused to sleep with them by the second date, were you arguing from a substantial base of direct experience in trying this, or just speculating from vibes like that one guy upthread? I can easily imagine its being a dealbreaker if a guy doesn't show enthusiasm and desire, but that's not at all the same as a "put out or get out"-style ultimatum about intercourse, specifically. For one thing, the initial question was whether guys could avoid rape accusations by holding off on sex until later in the relationship, and I've never encountered a rape allegation where the man countered that actually the woman openly threatened him if he refused sex.
But maybe it's just that dating is a land of contrasts, who knows.
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