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Culture War Roundup for the week of November 10, 2025

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I mean, sure, maybe? But at this point, in my own understanding, on the side of "the modal woman prefers emotional intimacy and romantic attention well before sexual intimacy" stands: my own introspection (n=1); the consistent testimony of any woman I personally know who's ever discussed relationships with me; the example of the various happily married women I know (myself included) whose husbands were their friends first, then committed boyfriends/suitors , then sex partners a good long way into the relationship, possibly even after marriage; and the revealed preference of women in our most popular female-authored hetero romance novels and films, all of which consistently center on a man who is passionately romantically interested, separately from his sexual interest in the woman as a piece of meat. So much so, indeed, that the plot of these movies usually spends a good bit of time introducing cheesy and implausible situations where the guy might prove his romantic interest and care-giving potential in definitively non-sexual ways.

On the side of "naw actually women are thots who adore, indeed insist upon, getting pumped ASAP by otherwise-indifferent guys" we have... a few vague assertions from gentlemen in heavy porn-watching circles who so far have confessed they never actually tried not seducing a woman ASAP, but they're pretty sure it wouldn't have worked out anyway, that ho.

Past a certain point, it starts sounding like "Who're you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?"

"naw actually women are thots who adore, indeed insist upon, getting pumped ASAP by otherwise-indifferent guys"

Hold up. OP's claim was actually this: "Trying to take it slow as the man is interpreted by the majority of women as a lack of genuine interest."

Past a certain point, it starts sounding like "Who're you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?"

What I hear is more "no one I know voted for Nixon!" As a guy who went around the block many times in his 20s and 30s, I can say that an awful lot of women voted for Nixon. But they move in different circles than you and your friends, and they certainly don't talk about voting for Nixon when they're around you.

all of which consistently center on a man who is passionately romantically interested, separately from his sexual interest in the woman as a piece of meat

Employees hate it when their managers do that too. You give them a reason to stick around- some sort of buy-in- and they're more likely to stick around even though the wage might be lower. They might even do those special intangible things that further your goals just because they like you.

that the plot of these movies usually spends a good bit of time introducing cheesy and implausible situations where the guy might prove his romantic interest and care-giving potential in definitively non-sexual ways

Companies spend a great deal on patronage and branding because, among other reasons, it favors the goals of the employee that asked for it. I hesitate to say "potentialfag" because it's stupid, but why else do people stay in relationships other than the promise that it might get better or stay the same? Evaluating a company is hard, since it's incorporeal and its logo means nothing to what the potential of working there could get you, but you can be attracted to what it is and what it does- SpaceX employees obviously feel their organization is spectacularly muscular.

I don't see many movies for men based around how great it is to serve garbage managers/companies, but stories that involve characters eventually surpassing them (the "boyboss" trope, if you will) are perennial.


That said, job insecurity is still a real thing; in this case, "if you're not interested in my ability to do the job, whose minimum wage is very low yet competition is very high (thanks, PornHub), I'm going to find someone else who is so the relationship actually has some grounds/stability/stakes to exist in the first place" seems pretty natural to me.

[We assume men women who actively want to provide free labor sex without this are a rounding error, as it's counter to biologically-imposed limitations and instinct doesn't fully account for UBIs IUDs. Sorry, asexuals.]