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Do you believe in therapists? Given my recent realization of how much social anxiety controls my life, the thought of getting a therapist and trying to handle the issue professionally has come up many times. Don't get me wrong, I think practices like CBT are legit, they should definitely work for a lot of people. But when it comes to people that conduct those practices, I'm most certain many of them are not qualified/fit for the job. Each patient is like a unique 1000 piece puzzle that therapist has 1 hour per week to work through. I believe the bare minimum for a therapist is being on top of their life at all times - how many of them are like that? Simply having mold at home would change therapists' brain chemistry, thus affecting their work. How about vitamin deficiencies? Going through personal life problems at home? Not getting enough sleep? That just means that it would take you so much time to find the one that's actually worth your time and money. And at $200-300/hr they are charging, I imagine most won't spend thousands to find the one that works for them.
But anyways, I've got a fun little anecdote about therapists. I recently reconnected with my cousin and learned that she became a family therapist, got the license, her own office - it's legit. Issue is, her personal life situation would tell you she's got no clue about relationships. She's 38, with no kids and a 'hustler' boyfriend that's 10 years older than her. And her dating history is horrible too - in her twenties, she went off to NYC to study and do modeling on the side, sponsored by her dad. There, she lived the high life of being an attractive model in NYC - partying with rappers and finance bros, trips to Hamptons, yadda yadda yadda. Then, after graduating and getting an ultimatum from her dad that he won't be paying for her fun NYC life any longer, she coasted on her modeling gigs and (i'm assuming) help from boyfriends for a few years, ultimately moving back to her home country. Once back, she continued her party lifestyle for a few more years, once again paid for by her father (much cheaper than NYC). In that time, she, still being an attractive and young woman, got hit on quite often. But her main complaint was that the boys hitting on her weren't up to her standard. She set her own dad, a very successful businessman, and the NYC bros that were in her life as her standard, and well, the small town guys weren't that. In her mid to late 20s, she finally decides to lock in and stop depending on her dad by getting a job at a local bank. Focusing on her career, she grinded up to a branch manager by 30. I don't know much about her dating life in that time because my family and hers grew apart in that time, so I stopped overhearing gossip about her. Timeskip half a decade, she's single and decides to quit her job to become a yoga teacher. And finally, timeskip to now - she's a family therapist. Anyway, the reason why I'm saying all that is not to ridicule my cousin about her unfathomable fumble at life - she's not the first and she's not the last, that's just how life is, it's to tell you that this person is now a family therapist with a license that's 'helping' others work out their family issues and charging 10x (I'm not joking) average hourly wage.
I saw a tweet awhile ago that said something along the lines of:
and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
I went through a period in my life in which I was ruminating so much I found it difficult to concentrate on anything and I was very depressed. I will admit that several weeks of very specific CBT exercises did help. But I'm very sceptical of the efficacy of free-form undirected talk therapy. In particular, I find it frustrating how rarely it's acknowledged that going to therapy might be bad for you. The "just go to therapy" brigade generally claim that the worst-case scenario is that it'll be useless (which even then is not necessarily a trivial financial and opportunity cost): I have never heard these people suggest that going to therapy might make a happy person unhappy, an unhappy person even unhappier, a self-absorbed person more self-absorbed etc.
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